


Hidden Secrets

by Vannita22



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Drama, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-27 10:46:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7614991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vannita22/pseuds/Vannita22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two years has passed since the Humdrum situation. Baz and Simon are happy but they have been keeping a big secret from each other. Will these secrets pull them apart or will they find a way to make things work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So this is my first fanfiction ever. I had this idea for a while now and I just had to write it down. Hope you guys like it!

 

    Things have been going well for Simon and Baz. Baz never thought that he would be this happy, he especially never thought that he would wake up to Simon every morning. Although he doesn't live with him, he might as well just move in. Let's face it, he's pretty much there everyday and Penny doesn't mind... well now she doesn't.

    Baz turns on his side, with his right hand supporting his head, staring at Simon. Smon is laying on his stomach and he finally has a peaceful look on his face. Simon had another nightmare last night. Two years has passed since the Humdrum incident, but it still affects Simon, particularly every night. His nightmares take a huge toll on him, so Baz and Penny are left to pick up the pieces.

    The first year was horrible. Simon had to get used to the fact that he didn't have magic anymore and that his wings and tail are a part of him now. Baz loves Simon's wings and tail, don't get me wrong it was hard on him too at first but he absolutely loves them because it is part of Simon and he is hopelessly in love with Simon Snow.

    It was difficult for Simon, he couldn't go out until his wings and tail were hidden. But even then people always manage to trip on his tail or bump into his wings. In other words, Simon hitting people with his wings when they pass by. These problems still occur now but the worst part is laying down on his bed in order to fall asleep. He can't lay on his back because they get in the way, so he tends to move around a lot because he is always uncomfortable. Baz always has to cast a "BE COMFORTABLE" spell to help Simon fall asleep.

    But then the nightmares came. Some of them are okay to handle but most of them are so terrible that it puts Simon in a bad mental state. It is always the same nightmare, Simon relives that incident Every. Single. Night. and it kills Baz because he doesn't know what to do to make it better. Which lead to Simon and Baz making a pact that he would wake up Simon before the nightmare got worse. Baz did this every night he was with him. But when he wasn't, Penny would take charge. It was a long year but things got better as the months passed by.

    Simon had another nightmare last night. Baz was able to wake up Simon before his nightmare got worse. They talked for the rest of the night until Simon fell asleep again. Baz didn't have that leverage, don't get me wrong he got two more hours of sleep but he wanted to make sure Simon was alright.

    Although Simon has gotten used to his wings and tail, he is still in a lot of pain. So Baz extends his arm and starts caressing Simon's back, being careful to not touch his wings. They can be very sensitive and wants Simon to keep sleeping, he needs it more than him. Baz knows it's working because Simon sighs and snuggles more to the bed. Baz smirks and continues to caress Simon's back when he hears a knock on the door.

    "Come in", says Baz. Penny opens the door and looks inside Simon's room. She smiles when she sees Baz caressing Simon's back. "Morning. How is he?", Penny asks Baz while leaning on the door.

    "Morning and he's good. He's sleeping peacefully", Baz looks at Simon with a soft smile. Penny looks at Simon as well and is relieved that he's getting the rest he needs. Penny looks at Baz and says "I'm making coffee. You want some?"

    "Yeah, sure. let me put some pants on", Baz says smirking. Penny looks disturbed and says "Please don't tell me you're naked under there."

    "Well Snow and me didn't see each other for a week. What do you think happened?" Baz says looking smugly at Penny. Penny just rolls her eyes and smiles, "I'll just wait for you in the kitchen". Penny leaves the room and closes the door.

    Baz snorts and then looks back at Simon. He caresses his face, and then Baz gets a great idea. Baz quietly got out under the covers and looked for a pair of jeans. Simon's favorite to be in fact. Baz knows how much Simon loves him in jeans, so Baz likes to have fun with that. To make it better he decides to stay shirtless. Simon is going to go crazy Simon and him might be together but that doesn't mean he needs to stop torturing him.

    Once Baz is changed he walks towards the side of the bed that Simon is sleeping on and kisses his forehead. He then quietly leaves the room and closes the door. Baz walks to the kitchen and the aroma of coffee hits him. Baz approaches Penny and she turns around with two mugs in her hands. She looks at Baz, rolls her eyes and says "Really?"

    "What? You know I like torturing him. He loves me in jeans", Baz winks at Penny and takes a mug out of her hands. "Thanks. I needed this." Penny nods and looks at Baz strangely, "I know you're a vampire and all but you look like you haven't slept for days". Baz looks at Penny with wide eyes and tries to hide his surprise by taking a sip of his coffee, then he looks down at his mug and says "It was a long week, a lot of studying to do". Penny rolls her eyes and says "Bullshit". Baz looks at her with a smirk and says "Yeah you're right. I could pass those exams in my sleep". Penny sighs and looks at Baz suspiciously "You're keeping something from Simon aren't you?"  
   

    "Drop it Bunce", says Baz. Penny was about to say something else until she sees Simon walking out of his room with boxers and no shirt on. Penny smirks and looks at Baz who has his mug frozen in thin air with his mouth open. Penny laughs and Baz forgot for a second that she was there and glares at her. Penny just smiles and says "Looks like you're not the only one who wanted to torture someone".

    Baz rolls his eyes and says to himself "Dammit Snow". Simon looking all cheery from getting the rest he needed says "Good Morning everyone!" Simon walks closer to the kitchen when he suddenly stops and sees Baz leaning against the wall, shirtless, with jeans on. "Dammit Baz", he says to himself. But since Baz has super hearing he heard exactly what Simon said and starts to look smug. "Morning love"' says Baz to Simon as he walks towards him and gives him a kiss on the cheek and winks at him. Simon still speechless checks out Baz and asks him one word "Why?" Baz snorts and says "I could ask you the same". They stay staring at each other.  
   

    Penny feeling awkward decides to interrupt and ask "Simon you want some coffee?" Simon broken from the spell he calls Baz stutters "Uh y-yeah, s-sure". Baz enjoying this smirks at Simon and takes another sip of his coffee. Simon hurries to Penny's side and takes the coffee mug from her. He takes a sip and says "This is great, thanks Penny". Penny nods and looks towards Baz and then looks back at him. Simon catches her looking and shakes his head. Penny snorts and says "Should I leave you two alone?"

    "Maybe later!" Baz answers her. Simon starts to blush "Um I'm going to go to the living room now". Simon leaves the kitchen, while Baz and Penny laugh. "You just couldn't help yourself", Penny says. "Nope. You gave me an opening and I just had to take it. Besides I love seeing him blush". Penny shakes her head smiling, she was going to say something back when she notices Baz looking down deep in thought. "What is it?" Penny asks. "He's keeping something from me"' Baz says. Penny stiffens up and thinks _oh no_! “What makes you say that?"

    "It's Simon. I know when he's hiding something and by the way you stiffened up means I'm right. What's going on Bunce?" Penny sighs, looks down and looks at Baz, "I promised him I wouldn't say anything". Baz upset looks down and says "right". Penny looks at him and feels guilty and thinks _I'm sorry Simon._ "But I'm going to tell you because you deserve to know", says Penny. "You would break your promise to him?" , asks Baz shocked. "Yes because I don't think I can keep this any longer from you", Penny says. Baz looks at Penny and asks "What is it?"  
   

    "You know the week you weren't here?" Baz nods. "Well Simon had another nightmare and well he, um he..." Penny says unable to get the words out. "Spit it out Bunce!" Baz says frustrated. "Simon wasn't able to wake up in time and it was a really bad nightmare Baz. Worse than last year. He woke up screaming and sobbing and he was a huge mess. I've never seen him this way. He was rubbing his arms and saying "What did I do?" "What did I do?" I tried to get close to him but he screamed at me to stop. That I should stay away from him because he was a murderer and that he might kill me too", Penny stops and looks at Baz with tears in her eyes and notices that Baz is trying to keep his tears at bay. "I didn't know what to do and the only thing I thought about was to call you. So I left the room to get my phone but he was right behind me and took the phone from my hands and begged me to not call you. He went down on his knees and begged Baz. I couldn't say no to him".  
   

    "T-then what happened?" Baz asks. Penny sighs and says "He just shut down. I helped him back to his room and he shut down. He didn't say anything. He laid down and put his head on my lap and cried silently. He never went back to sleep, neither did I and the next day he made me promise to not tell you what happened". Baz clenches his jaw and tries to breath in and out slowly, looks at Penny and asks "Did he tell you what happened in his nightmare?"  
   

     "No but whatever it was, it wasn't the same nightmare he always has. But Baz you can't tell him I told you. You'll have to wait until he's ready to tell you". Baz nods and looks down upset, "I thought we told each other everything". Penny looks at Baz , closes her eyes for a moment and says "Everyone has their secrets". Baz looks at Penny and says "Yeah but not this Bunce. He should have told me from the moment it happened. Why would he keep something this big from m...". Baz gulps and stops himself from finishing the sentence when he knows perfectly well he's hiding something big too.  
   

    Penny looks at Baz concerned and asks "Baz are you ok?" Baz looks at Penny debating on whether to tell her or not and decides that he might as well, "I think I'm immortal". Penny unable to speak for a few minutes, whispers "What?" Baz looks down and sighs, "I noticed that I stopped aging". Baz closes his eyes and looks at Simon in the living room. Penny shocked at what she's hearing, realized that she needed to sit down. So she did on the kitchen stool and Baz followed her movements. Penny making sure Simon is not looking at them, she asks "How can you tell?"

    "Bunce, I'm a vampire I can tell, trust me". Baz says looking at Penny like she has two heads. Penny just rolls her eyes, looks at Simon, then looks at Baz, "Are you going to tell Simon?" Baz looks at Simon and says "I don't know. If I do it's going to break his heart". Penny looks at Simon too knowing that Baz is right. This would destroy him but then she remembered something , "I thought you told him you would change him if you turned out to be immortal, that way you two can be together forever or am I wrong?" Baz sighs and looks back at Penny "No, you're not. I said it. I definitely said it. But how can I change him to become like me. Being a vampire is torture. Craving for blood all the time, it's disgusting. I can't do that to him Penny. I won't".

    "You need to tell him Baz. The fact that you just said my name means that this secret is destroying you". Baz looks at Penny with so much pain in his eyes and says, "You have no idea". Penny reaches out hesitantly and puts her hand on Baz’s shoulder and says “Tell him”. Baz exasperated shrugs off her hand and says “Then what? Break up? Because you know that’s the only thing that can happen after I tell him and I don’t think I can handle that”.

    “Simon would never break up with you”, Penny says wondering why would Baz think that Simon would breakup with him, these two idiots are completely in love with each other. Baz interrupted her train of thought when he says “I’m not talking about Simon”. Penny has always been protective of Simon and she can’t believe that Baz just said this, Penny glares at Baz with so much hatred and tells him “If you hurt him, I’ll kill you”. Baz knows she is serious, hell if he ever hurts Simon Snow, he would want someone to do exactly that. “Well start getting prepared then because no matter what happens, this news is going to break him and I need you to be there for him when it happens. Promise me” .

    Penny softens a bit, although she knows that Baz says stupid stuff sometimes, she knows that this is really hard for him. “Always. I promise. But you need to promise me something too”, she says. Baz looks at her expectantly and says “What is it?” Penny looks at Simon for a bit and sees that he is looking at their direction curiously. Penny looks back at Baz and lowers her voice, “Don’t you dare break it off. You two are better together than apart and knowing Simon, he will never let you go that easily. He needs you and you need him too and I know you two will work this out. Now go over there because he keeps looking over here and if he finds out that I told you his secret then I’m done for”. Baz smiles a bit and says “Okay, okay. I promise, thanks”. Penny and Baz smile at each other and then Baz stands up and heads over to Simon in the living room.

    Simon looks down at his phone pretending that he wasn’t looking at them, wondering what they were talking about. Baz shakes his head for a bit with a small smile and sits really close to him. Simon gulps from how close Baz is sitting next to him. Baz smile gets a little bigger because making Snow feel uncomfortable is the highlight of his day. Simon looks up from his phone to look at Baz and thinks _How is it possible that he gets more handsome as the years go by, It’s unfair._ Baz stares back at Simon with one eyebrow raised, knowing exactly what Simon is thinking of. But one look at Simon and all he thinks is _God_ , _he's gorgeous_.

    Simon blushes from the way Baz is looking at him with so much love and that’s when the guilt comes back on. Baz notices how Simon’s face changed from blushing to sad in a split second and he thinks maybe Simon will tell him about his nightmare. “Is there anything you need to tell me Snow?", Baz asks with an encouraging Smile. At the moment Simon thought that maybe he should just tell him but then decides against it. “I just don’t know whether to jump you or not. You know I like you in jeans. You’re driving me crazy”, Simon smirks at Baz. Baz smile fades a little, knowing that Simon is deflecting and then covers it up with his famous sneer and says “That’s the point”. Simon and Baz smile at each other for a bit even though they are both hurting inside.

    Then Baz and Simon decide that they should probably put more clothes on so that they can go on with the rest of their day. It also has to deal with the fact that they both didn’t feel like torturing each other anymore, especially since they are both feeling guilty. They went throughout their day pretending everything was okay but when they laid back on Simon’s bed that night, all the guilt came back at full force.

Not once did Simon mention his nightmare to Baz.

Not once did Baz mention his immortality to Simon.

Maybe tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really enjoyed writing this chapter. Hope you guys like it. Don't be afraid to leave feedback!

 

    A week has passed and Simon still hasn’t said anything. But neither has Baz. Simon is walking out of his room, when he sees Penny in the living room setting up her laptop.

 _Hmm, maybe she’s going to Skype with Micah or Agatha,_ Simon thinks. Then he sees the way Penny is dressed, she is actually wearing nice clothes. _Nope, definitely Micah._

    Agatha has been a touchy subject ever since she bailed out in helping Baz and Penny. But from what Simon heard, Penny and Agatha have been trying to keep in contact again. They are still not close as they were before and honestly Penny is still holding a grudge. As for Simon, he hasn’t spoken to Agatha ever since and he doubts that she asks about him anyways.

    Simon approaches Penny and sits next to her on the couch. “Hey Penny, can I ask you something?”

    Penny glances at Simon, still focusing on her laptop.

    “What is it Simon? And please don’t tell me you need my opinion on which boxers would drive Baz crazy because that’s where I draw the line.”

    Simon laughs embarrassed but then gets serious, “Um no… Do you think Baz knows?

    Penny still oblivious on what Simon is really asking, stays working on her laptop.

    “About that night.”, says Simon.

    Penny hands still for a moment and turns her body to face Simon. Is it possible that Simon found out, that she told Baz? No it can’t be, it’s not possible.

    “Why do you say that?”, Penny asks curious.

    Simon looks down, deep in thought and says, “He’s been distant lately, so I don’t know if he figured something happened or if he’s keeping something from me.”

 _Shit_ , Penny thinks.

    “Why don’t you ask him?” Penny asks Simon, since it’s the only possible solution.

    Simon sighs frustrated with Penny because she is not getting it, “I can’t just ask him, Penny.” Penny rolls her eyes. “What if it’s me overthinking and then he asks me what’s going on and I can’t really say nothing because then I’ll be under pressure, so I will have to come out because there is no way I can lie to him.”

    Penny looks at Simon like he has two heads, “Simon you’ve been lying to him this entire time.”

    Simon looks at Penny and says, “More like avoiding than lying.”

    Penny covers her face with her hand and then puts it down, “Either way you’re not telling the truth.”

    Simon looks down and sighs, “I know, I know. I’m just not ready to tell him yet.”

    Penny looks at Simon and notices the troubled look on his face. She reaches her hand out and puts her hand on top of Simon’s hand. Penny asks Simon softly, “Simon, what really happened in your nightmare?"

    Simon looks up at Penny with fear in his eyes, “Please don’t ask me that.” Simon’s voice cracks. Penny hold his hands and says, “Okay, I’ll drop it, but only because Baz should be the first one to know what’s going on. Whether I like to admit it or not, Baz is a friend and I don’t like keeping secrets from him.”

    Simon nods and says, “I know and I’m sorry I have to put you in this position.”

    “It’s fine, just tell him soon, and I mean it Simon.” Simon nods and stands up.

    “I should probably leave now before I arrive late to class. Can you hide my wings and tail before I go?”

    Penny nods and does an invisibility spell to Simon’s wings and tail, “Wait, before you go, I made you some dinner for you to take. I know you get out late.” Penny walks to the kitchen and grabs the dinner that she packed for Simon and gives it to him. Simon takes it and puts it in his backpack.

    Simon smiles and hugs Penny, “Thank you, Penny, I appreciate it.”

    Penny returns the hug, “Anytime”, she replies back.

    Simon moves away from Penny, smiles at her and heads towards the door. Penny goes back to working on her laptop.

    Simon opens the door to leave and is surprised to see Baz outside the door with his keys in his hand. “Oh hey”, says Simon.

    Baz surprised as well looks at Simon and says, “Hi, going to class?”

    “Yeah, you’re back early.”, Simon says not expecting to see Baz so soon, in fact Baz was supposed to be back an hour later.

    “Class ended early.”, Baz replies.

    “Oh OK, well I’ll see you when I come back.”

    Baz a bit disappointed says “Yeah, sure.”

    “Um, bye.”

    Baz grabs Simon’s arm as he was passing by. Simon turns to face Baz again, surprised. “Are you really going to leave without giving me a kiss?”, Baz asks with a soft smile.

    Simon still surprised, shakes his head a bit, smiles at Baz and reaches up, getting ready to kiss Baz. But Baz grabs Simon instead and kisses him passionately as if Baz is going to lose Simon at any moment. It was the type of kiss that has so much spark that makes your toes curl. They broke the kiss way too soon but it left both Baz and Simon speechless.

    “Go or you’ll be late”, Baz says after a moment of silence. Simon still speechless after that kiss, took him a moment to realize that Baz just spoke to him, “Uh yeah, I’ll see you tonight.” Baz smirks at him and says “Later.” Simon leaves with wobbly legs.

    Baz stays leaning by the door and watches Simon leave. Once Simon is out of his sight, he closes the door, leans on it and sighs.

    “Whoa! That was some kiss”, says Penny, breaking Baz out of his own thought. 

    “Hello to you too, Bunce.”, says Baz as he makes his way towards the kitchen.

    “I made dinner. It’s in the fridge.”, Penny says when he sees Baz heading to the kitchen.

    “Thanks.” Baz takes out the food out of the fridge and puts it in the microwave to heat up. Once the microwave beeped he grabbed his food and utensils and headed towards Penny. Although Baz still doesn’t like eating in front of people, he trusts to eat in front of Penny and Simon. Baby steps right?

    Baz notices the laptop in front of her and smirks. “Date night with Micah?”

    “You could say that.” Penny smirks back at Baz. Then she remembers her conversation with Simon and decides to bring it up. “Simon knows something is up.”

    Baz starts to choke, he wasn’t expecting for her to say that especially when he recently put food in his mouth. Penny starts to pat his back, “Sorry.”

    “I’m fine. What do you mean Snow knows something is going on?”

    “He said you’re being distant.”

    “Oh.”, Baz replies. Simon is right he has been distant lately but it’s because he isn’t sure how to bring up his immortality up. He thinks about telling Simon everyday but when he tries to tell him the words won’t come out. “Did he say anything else?”

    “Not really. He’s just hurting. Like you are”, Baz nods feeling guilty and tries to finish his food, silently. Once he was done he stood up and looked at Penny, “Well I’m going to let you be. Going to take a nap. Need to hunt tonight before Simon gets home. Thanks for the food.”

    “No problem and Baz? Don’t take it too hard on yourself. I know you two will work things out.”

    Baz nods and says, “Say hi to Micah, for me.” Baz enters Simon’s room and lays down.

  
⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩

    Simon arrives home late that night, exhausted. As he enters the flat he notices that the lights are turned off in the living room and kitchen. He walks slowly towards his room and opens the door quietly, careful not to wake up Baz. But imagine his surprise when he notices Baz awake with the night lamp on, reading a book.

    “Hey, why are you still awake? You didn't have to wait for me.”’ Simon says quietly as he puts his backpack on the floor.

    “I wanted to, besides I had to hunt.”

    “Oh OK.”, says Simon as he leans against the door and drags his hands across his face. Baz notices how tired Simon looks.

    “You look exhausted Snow. Come here.”

    Simon looks at Baz and gives him a small smile, “Yeah sure, let me change my clothes first.” Simon walks towards his dresser and he takes off his shirt and pants. He decides to not look for pj's since he's too tired. Instead he walks towards the bed and lays down next to Baz. Baz pulls Simon closer to his side and puts his arm around him being careful to not touch his wings and Simon cuddles up more to his side. Simon lets out a happy sigh and says, “I missed you today.”

    “Yeah?”, Baz replies while stroking Simon’s hair.

    “Yeah, I didn’t really see you today.”

    “I missed you too, Snow.” Simon looks up at Baz and caresses his face. Baz leans into his touch, takes Simon’s hand and kisses his palm. Simon touches Baz’s neck and pulls him down for a soft and slow kiss. Baz breaks the kiss and kisses Simon’s forehead. Baz looks at Simon, still with his eyes closed and touches his cheek and smiles when he sees Simon forming a small smile on his face.

    “I love you, Simon.” Baz says with so much emotion in his voice.

    Simon snaps his eyes open and looks up at Baz with wide eyes. Baz rarely calls Simon by his name but when he does, it means so much. Baz is just full of surprises today.

    “I know I don’t say it a lot but I just want you to know that I do.”, Baz continues.

    “I know. I love you too, so much.” Simon kisses Baz on the forehead and pulls him closer.

    Baz chuckles and says “I know, you idiot. I always see it in your eyes.”

    “And I see it in yours, all the time.”

    Tears began to form in their eyes and Baz says, “Good, cause I really do.” Baz kisses Simon again with so much love and rests his forehead against his. He kisses his forehead again and holds him tighter. Simon rests his head against Baz’s chest. Baz is relieved that Simon decides to put his head on his chest because he doesn’t want Simon to see the tears that are close to fall from his eyes.

    Simon loving the affection that he is getting from Baz, hugs him tighter.

    At that moment Baz is trying to control his emotions. He can’t keep this secret from Simon any longer. Baz is so scared, but Simon needs to know. He needs to tell him right now. Baz breathes in deeply.

“Snow, I need to tell you something.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go chapter 3!

_Previously,_

_“Snow, I need to tell you something.”_

    Baz waits for a response but he doesn’t get any.

    “Snow?”, Baz tries again.

    Still no response from Simon.

    Baz looks down and sees that Simon has fallen asleep. Baz sighs and strokes Simon’s hair. Baz is a bit disappointed that Simon is not awake but he is also disappointed in himself for waiting this long. Baz knows that it is not Simon’s fault for falling asleep, he was exhausted. But dammit, Baz finally had the courage to tell Simon but then again it looks like it wasn’t the right moment.

    Baz looks at Simon with a sad smile and decides to turn off the lamp. He might as well just go to sleep. He did wait up for Simon after all.

* * *

  
    Baz is woken up by Simon tossing and turning. Baz sits up abruptly and notices that Simon moved to his side of the bed in the middle of the night. Baz knew right away that Simon is having a nightmare. Simon lets out a cry of pain and in that moment he turned on his back, squishing his wings which caused more pain to Simon. Baz gets closer to Simon and carefully reaches his arm out to wake up Simon.

    “Snow, wake up.”, Baz said, shaking Simon softly. Simon still doesn't wake up and turns his head to the side groaning.

    “Come on, Snow.”, Baz shook him a bit harder.

    Still nothing.

    Baz notices that Simon’s nightmare is getting worse by the way Simon is tossing and turning even more. Baz hates seeing Simon like, sometimes Baz doesn’t know what to do to make it better. But the only thing that Baz knew what to do at the moment is to softly touch Simon’s face and try to calm him down.

    “Please Simon, wake up.”

    Simon sits up and starts gasping. Baz held out his hand and Simon grasped it in his. Baz starts stroking Simon’s hair and says, “Breathe love, nice and slowly.”

    Simon listens to Baz’s voice and does what he said. Baz looks at Simon concerned and Simon starts to cry. Baz holds Simon in his arms, rocking him back and forth.

    “I’m here love, you’re safe.”

    Simon puts his arms around Baz and hides his face on the crook of his neck, sniffing.

    “It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m here.”, Baz says.

    Simon lifts up his face from Baz’s neck and looks at Baz with so much fear in his eyes. Baz wipes the tears off Simon’s face and gives him a small smile.

    “Better?”, Baz asks.

    Simon breathes ind out and nods at him. Baz pushes Simon’s hair back to see his face more clearly and sees how pale Simon is.

    “Same nightmare?”, Baz asks even though he knows the answer.

    “It’s always the same fucking nightmare, Baz.”, Simon snapped at Baz, frustrated untangling himself from Baz’s arms. Simon puts his knees up and hugs them, putting his head on top of them.

    Baz shocked at the way Simon spoke to him Baz opens his mouth, then closes it, not sure what he should say back or if he should say anything at all. Baz decides to keep his mouth shut because if he does say something, it won’t be pretty and Simon doesn’t need more stress. Instead he clenches his fists and puts them on his lap.

    Simon realizing his mistake, looks at Baz and says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to speak to you like that.”

    Baz sighs and looks at Simon. There is no way that Baz can be angry at Simon for being like this. These nightmares literally take the life source from Simon, leaving him looking small and weak. Baz knows Simon is anything but that. To him, Simon is a hero, he is one of the strongest, bravest person he has ever met. Baz is not going to let these nightmares take that away from him. Baz puts his hand on top of Simon’s hand and squeezes it.

    “I know.”

    “I’m so tired of this, Baz”, Simon’s voice cracks. “I don’t know how much longer I can take this.”

    “I know that too.”, Baz leans in and kisses Simon’s temple, closing his eyes. Simon puts his head on Baz’s shoulder and Baz puts his head on top of Simon’s head.

    “I just want this to end.”, Simon continues.

    “Me too. I hate that you have to go through this every fucking night. It’s not healthy Snow. These nightmares just keep getting worse and worse.”

    “I know.”, Simon says in a small voice. Baz pulls Simon closer.

    “Do you think you’ll be able to fall asleep again?”, Baz asks, hoping that Simon would say yes.

    “Not right now.”, Simon says. Baz feeling upset over the fact that once again Simon won’t be able to get a good night sleep, sighs and says “Alright. Do you want some tea? That could help.”

    “Yes please.”, Simon says eagerly and Baz chuckles softly, lifts up his head and kisses Simon’s temple again.

    “Come on, let's go to the kitchen then.”, Baz says as he reaches to turn on the lamp, so that Simon can see. Once Simon adjusted his eyes, Baz helped Simon off the bed and laces his hand with his and headed to the kitchen.

    Simon sits on the kitchen stool while Baz starts making them tea. Simon looks stares at Baz’s back.

    “Baz can I ask you something?”

    “Anything.”, Baz replies, trying to decide what kind of tea to give Simon.

    “I know I was exhausted last night and I know I usually fall asleep on you when I’m like that, especially when we are talking. I’ve done it before and it bothers me when I do because what if I missed something important. Did I?”

    Baz stiffens a bit and turns around to look at Simon. Simon is looking at Baz with so much worry in his eyes. Simon is already having a rough night and Baz doesn’t want to add more to his stress.

    “No love, you didn’t miss anything.”, Baz says making sure Simon believes him. Although technically he is telling the truth, Baz didn’t say anything important but he was about to. But Simon can’t know that, not now at least.

    “Oh thank god.”, Simon says relieved. “That would have bothered me the entire day”. Simon gives Baz a smile and Baz gives him a small smile in return. Baz turns around so that Simon won’t see his smile turn into a frown. Baz gets two mugs out of the cabinet and he serves Simon’s and his tea.

    Baz walks towards Simon and gives him a mug. Simon accepts it eagerly and pats the stool next to him. Baz smirks gives Simon a kiss on the cheek and sits next to him. Simon takes a sip of his tea and moans in appreciation.

    “This is really good.”, Simon says taking another sip. Baz chuckles and takes a sip of his, still looking at Simon.

    “Snow…”

    “Don’t, Baz.”, Simon interrupts Baz.

    “You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”, Baz puts his mug down and turns, facing Simon. Simon does the same thing and faces Baz.

    “Yes I do. You’re going to tell me that I need to talk to someone.”, says Simon looking at Baz with a raised eyebrow. Baz looks at Simon surprised and then sighs.

    “You do.”

    “I’m fine Baz. It’s just nightmares.”

    “It’s been two years Snow. You and I both know that it’s not just nightmares. You relive that incident every single night. It’s not healthy. You need to talk to someone.”

    “I talk to you.”, exclaims Simon. Baz face hardens.

    “Do you?”, Baz says without thinking. Baz was about to take it back but Simon starts talking.

    “What do you mean by that?”

    Baz shakes his head and says, “Nothing.” Baz takes another sip of his tea and turns away from Simon. Baz looks down at his mug trying to control his emotions. Baz was so close in blowing it. If he said something else, they would probably get into an argument and Baz doesn’t want that.

    Baz knows that Simon is still looking at him trying to figure out what he meant but there is no way that Baz is going to let Simon figure it out.

    Baz sighs and looks back at Simon and says, “Finish your tea before it gets cold.”

    Simon nods at Baz and picks up his mug again to take a sip. Baz does the same. They stayed in a complete silence, finishing their tea until Simon decides to speak again.

    “I’m done. Uh I think I’ll be able to go to sleep now.”

    “Alright.”

    “Thanks for the tea, I think it actually helped”, Simon gives Baz a small smile, trying to clear out the tension that is still in the room.

    Baz nods at Simon and grabs his arm when he sees Simon standing up with the mug in his hands.

    “Leave it. I’ll clean up. I’m going to stay out here for a bit”. Baz says taking the mug out of Simon’s hand.

    Simon surprised says, “Oh ok, I’ll leave you to it then.”

    Baz sees Simon look down with a frown and calls out to him, “Simon?”

    Simon turns around.

    “I love you.”

    There it is, those three words that make everything better. In just one second those words cleared the tension in the room because no matter how much they are going through and what they are hiding, nothing can underestimate their love for each other.

    Simon smiles, “Love you too.”

    “Go, I’ll be there soon.”

    Simon walks towards his room but before he goes in he says “Goodnight Baz.”

    Baz heard him and said, “Goodnight Snow.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 everyone! Been working on this these past few days. Would have uploaded it sooner but I was having internet problems. I usually upload once I have a chapter done. Well here you go, hopefully you'll like it. Don't be afraid to leave comments.

    Baz is usually the first one to wake up but this time it was Simon. Just by looking at Baz, Simon knows that Baz came to bed way later then he said. Simon reaches out to brush off some hair that fell on Baz’s face, but he hesitates. Simon puts his hand back at his side and looks at it.

 _“Do You”_ , comes to his mind again. What did Baz mean by that. Is it possible that Baz knows he’s hiding something? Of course it’s possible, we’re talking about Baz here. Baz knows Simon inside and out. Simon thought he was hiding it better but nothing passes by Baz and that scares him.

    Simon doesn’t know how to handle this. Baz not realizing is one thing but knowing that him, Simon the love of his life is hiding something from him, is something entirely different. It’s terrifying. There is no way that Simon can keep this secret any longer.

    But he has to.

    Simon has to try harder. No matter how much this secret is killing him, he’s not ready to tell Baz, not yet.

    Simon gets out under the covers and puts on his slippers. He looks at Baz one more time before standing up and quietly leaves his room and heads to the kitchen. Simon already sees Penny in there cooking. He walks towards her.

    “Morning Baz.”, Penny says without turning around, when she did, she realized her mistake. “Oh Simon, I didn’t realize it was you. You’re awake early. Where’s Baz?”

    “He’s still sleeping.”, replies Simon as he sits on the kitchen stool. Penny turns back around to turn off the stove and serve Simon and her breakfast.

    “That’s weird is everything okay? He’s usually the first one to wake up.”

    “Yeah he’s fine, it was a long night.”, Simon says putting his head down on his arms.

    Penny turns around and puts a plate in front of Simon, and studies him. Simon puts his head back up when he smells the food and brings the plate closer to him and starts eating. Penny still looking at him asks, “How bad was it?”

    Simon into his food answers with his mouth full, “Pretty bad.” Penny sighs, gives Simon a napkin and sits next to him with her plate.

    “Simon…”

    Simon puts his utensils down and cuts her off, “Look, Baz tried the same thing last night. I’m going to tell you what I told him. I’m fine.”

    Penny wasn’t having it. “No you’re not.”

    Simon sighs and looks away from Penny. He knows that she is right but he's too stubborn to admit it aloud.

    “Simon you and I both know that if you were really fine, you wouldn't be keeping this secret from Baz.”, Penny continued.

    Simon stays silent and continues eating while Penny rolls her eyes, shakes her head and finishes her food as well.

   

* * *

 

    Baz feels the tension before he steps into the kitchen. He hesitates at first when he sees Simon eating with Penny. He was hoping he didn't have to see Simon so soon after last night. Although Baz got rid of the tension between them, it doesn't mean that he didn't stay up all night thinking about their situation. Baz almost blew it last night and frankly he doesn't know how to act around Simon anymore. Whether he likes to admit it or not, these hidden secrets are affecting their relationship and that scares him.

    “Morning.”, Baz says not making any eye contact with Simon as he walks towards the stove to serve himself his coffee in his mug.

    Penny notices this and looks at Simon who was staring at his empty plate. Penny looks at Baz and says, “There's some food saved for you on the stove.”

    Baz without turning around says, “Thanks.”

    Simon stares at Baz’s back hoping for Baz to turn around and look at him, no such luck. Simon sighs and stands up picking up his plate and towards the sink. At the same time Baz takes the seat that Simon was sitting on. Simon washes his plate while Baz starts to eat slowly.

    “Um, I'm just going to take a quick shower.”, Simon says turning around looking at Penny and Baz. Penny nods at him while Baz ignores him. Simon hurriedly leaves the kitchen.

    Baz pushes his plate to the side and covers his face with his hand. Baz hates ignoring Simon but it doesn't help the fact that Simon left him with a mental image. Penny shaking her head at Baz’s childish behavior decides to bring Simon up.

    “So I heard you brought up that topic again with Simon”

    Baz laughs without any humor and says, “Let me guess, so did you.”

    “Yeah, but he wasn't having it.”

    “Of course he wasn't”, Baz says rolling his eyes.

    “What's wrong?”, Penny asks seeing Baz playing with his food.

    “You know exactly what's wrong. Snow and me are estranged. I'm just tired of it.”

    Penny rolls her eyes and says, “You know exactly what to do to fix that.”

    “It’s not just the secrets Bunce. I'm just tired of seeing him go through these nightmares every night. I can see it draining him. It's not fun to watch.”, Baz says looking at Penny with frustration. At this point Baz has given up on eating, he didn't have much appetite in the first place. So he sticks to his coffee instead.

    Penny looks at Baz suspicious. She knows that there is something else bothering him.

    “There's something else isn't there?”

    Baz looks at her surprised and sighs. Looks like he can't keep anything in today.

    “I almost told Snow last night.”

    “What?”, Penny asks surprised while sitting up straight.

    “Yeah, but he fell asleep before I could tell him.”

    Penny face palms her face, shaking her head. “You didn't tell him afterwards?”

    “He was shaken up. I couldn't. It would have been too much for him.”

    Penny agrees.

    “Then what happened?”

    “I brought up the topic. Which brought on more tension between us.”, says Baz sighing.

    “Right.”

    Then Penny got an idea.

    “Maybe we shouldn't tell him to talk to anyone anymore.”

    “What do you mean?”, asks Baz looking at Penny confused.

    “I mean we should just take him to someone.”

    Baz gulps and says, “You mean force him.”

    “No… Yes … Maybe. It might be the only way.”

    Baz looks down, thinking hard about this. He doesn't want to force Simon in doing something he doesn't want. But he also doesn't want Simon to keep suffering, enough is enough.

    Baz looks at Penny again, determined.

    “Fine, let's do it.”

    “Okay, we’ll start planning tomorrow.” Penny looks at Baz’s plate and sees the untouched food. “Are you going to eat that? Or are you going to save it for later?”

    Baz looks at the plate and says, “I'll save it for later. Sorry wasn't very hungry. Too much on my mind.”

    “Alright well I'm going to go out for a bit, so you and Simon are going to have the place for yourselves for a few hours. Use it wisely.”, says Penny while she stands up to clean her plate.

    Baz chokes on air, “Uh Snow and me haven't...you know... in a while.”

    Penny turns around to look at Baz surprised, “Really?”

    Baz nods.

    “Well I guess you should stop avoiding him and spend this whole day together. You both sure need it.”

    Baz sighs, shakes his head, trying not to smile and nods at her while he stands up to put his food away. Penny says bye to Baz as she heads towards the door. Baz breathes in and out slowly and goes to Simon’s bedroom.

    Baz enters the room and sees Simon standing by the dresser only wearing a towel. Simon looks at Baz like a deer caught in headlights. Baz stares at Simon and notices a drop of water sliding down Simon’s neck and trails it down towards Simon’s abs, and then towards his navel. Simon may be lankier than Baz but he’s been working out. Baz coughs and turns around.

    “Uh sorry, I thought you would have been done by now.”

    Simon trying not to smile over the fact that he just saw Baz checking him out.

    “I decided to take a longer shower.”

    Baz closes his eyes over the mental image of Simon being in the shower, naked.

 _Focus,_ Baz thinks.

    “I should probably leave you alone to change.”, Baz says getting ready to leave but stops when he feels Simon’s arms embracing him from behind.

    “Why would you do that.”

    Baz turns around to face Simon smirking, “Snow, are you trying to seduce me?”

    Simon shrugs his shoulders and looks at Baz with not so innocent eyes.

    “Maybe. Is it working?”

    Baz looks at Simon from head to toe and says, “You have no Idea.”

    Simon blushes and looks down, “I think I might.”

    Baz starts laughing. Simon looks at Baz smiling because he has missed his laugh but also confused.

    “What?”, Simon asks.

    Baz smiling, shakes his head and caresses Simon’s cheek.

    “Nothing. I just missed you.” Baz pulls Simon into a kiss. Simon breaks the kiss and says, “Make love to me.”

    Baz smiles and says, “That’s what I’m planning to do, Snow.”

    Baz locks the bedroom door, even though he knows Penny is not home but it gives them more privacy and pulls Simon into a long and passionate kiss.

* * *

  
    Simon and Baz are lying down on their fronts, tired of all the lovemaking they just did. Baz sighs happily and closes his eyes and then snorts.

    “What?”, asks Simon smiling.

    “Who would have thought that your seducing powers would work on me this time”, Baz says chuckling. Simon blushes and hides his face on his pillow.

    Baz touches Simon’s hair, smiling and says, “Oh come on, there's no time for you to get shy, especially after what we just did.”

    Simon looks up to look at Baz and sees him smirking. Simon groans and puts his head down, “Shut up Baz.”

    Baz laughs and starts tickling Simon.

    “Let me see that face of yours.”

    Simon laughing, gives up and looks at Baz. They put their foreheads together and smile at each other. They were having a nice moment until Simon’s stomach growls. Baz chuckles and kisses Simon on the forehead.

    “Looks like someone is hungry.”

    Simon looks at Baz embarrassed and says, “Sorry.”

    “It’s ok love, I was getting hungry myself too.” Baz turns on his back to sit up and puts his boxers back on, while Simon is staring at the muscles on Baz’s back.

    Baz feels his stare and says, “You like what you see?”

    Simon blushes from getting caught and says, “You know I do.”

    Baz looks back at him smirking and stands up. “I’ll be right back.”

    “Hurry.” Simon says grabbing Baz’s hand. Baz leans down and kisses Simon's hand and winks at him.

    Baz comes out of Simon’s bedroom with a goofy smile on his face. But that smile quickly goes away when he sees the person sitting on the couch.

    “Why the fuck are you here?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! sorry for the long wait. It took me a while to finish this chapter, mainly because I was super busy these past few days. But with that said, chapter 5 is finally here! Hope you guys enjoy it! Don't be afraid to leave feedback!

_Previously,_

_"Why the fuck are you here?”_

    There on the couch was no other than Agatha Wellbelove. The one who ran away instead of helping. The one that Baz can’t stand. But most of all, Simon’s ex girlfriend.

    Agatha jumped in surprise in seeing Baz standing there in nothing but his boxers. Baz is glaring at her while Agatha is staring at Baz with her mouth open. Agatha manages to finally get a few words out after a few seconds of staring.

    “Me? What are you doing here?”

    Baz was about to answer when Penny walks in the living room and freezes. Penny looks at Baz, who’s half naked and she looks at Agatha on the couch with wide eyes.

    _Shit_ , Penny thinks.

    “What is she doing here?”

    “What is he doing here?”, Baz and Agatha say at the same time.

    Penny breathes deeply in and out. These two are going to be the death of her.

    “Okay. First things first, Baz put some clothes on. Second, she literally just showed up and third, Baz kinda lives here in a way”, Penny trails off.

    Agatha looks at Penny confused, “What do you mean in a way?”

    Baz looks at Penny with his eyebrow raised, as if asking, _Should you tell her, or should I?_

    “Well?”, Agatha asks impatient. Agatha doesn’t like the staring competition that’s happening between Penny and Baz right now.

    Penny was about to speak when Simon comes out of his bedroom holding some of his bed sheets around his waist. That's when all hell broke loose.

    “Baz, what’s taking so long?”, Simon asks not realizing that Agatha is sitting on the couch.

    “Simon?”, Agatha exclaims in shock, standing up. Agatha didn't expect to see Simon so soon, especially not half naked with wings. Wait, wings?

    Simon’s head snaps towards her and his eyes get wide in surprise, “Agatha! W-what.”

    Simon looks down at what he’s wearing.

    “Oh shit!”, Simon says and runs back to his room. Penny face palms her face while Baz is smirking at Agatha’s reaction. Penny looks at Baz and mouths Go. Baz walks towards Simon’s room, but before he goes in, he looks back at Agatha and winks in her direction, just to mess with her more.

    Agatha furious looks at Penny, “W-what was that?”

    Penny puts her hand on the back of her neck and sighs.

    “Um I guess I should have told you that Simon and Baz are together now.”

* * *

    Simon is pacing back and forth in the room while Baz is leaning against the door watching him.

    “Why is she here?”, Simon says still pacing. Baz walks towards the dresser and takes out some clothes for Simon and does the same for himself.

    “I don't know.”, Baz says as he walks towards Simon and stops him from pacing.

    “Does she know?”, Simon asks taking the clothes from Baz and starts putting on his boxers and pants.

    “WHAT?”, they hear Agatha yell from the other side of the door.

    “I'm pretty sure she knows now.”, Baz snorts.

    Simon looks at Baz frantically, “Baz this is not funny.”

    “Come on, it's a little funny.”, Baz smirks at Simon.

    Simon couldn't help but chuckle, “Okay, maybe a little.” But then Simon sighs and sits on the bed and covers his face with his hands. Baz sits down next to him and puts his arm around him.

    “Are you okay, Snow?”

    Simon puts his head on Baz’s shoulder and Baz tightens his grip on him.

    “I don't think I'm ready to face her.”

    “I know. At least you don't have to face her alone.”

    Simon makes eye contact with Baz and gives him a small smile. “Yeah, you're right.” Simon breathes in and out deeply and straightens up.

    “Okay, let's do this.

* * *

    “You and you? Please tell me you’re joking.” Agatha stares at Simon and Baz with wide eyes in front of her. Baz grabs Simon’s hand and interlaces their hands together.

    “Do we look like we’re joking?”

    Agatha sits back down on the couch, not believing what she’s seeing.

    “B-but I thought you hated each other.”

    “More like I hated that I loved him and he didn’t feel the same. I hated him because all he talked about was you. I hated that I had to see him everyday but I couldn’t be with him. I hated that I couldn’t touch him. I hated that I couldn’t tell him I loved him. I hated him because no matter how much I wanted to kill him, I couldn’t do it. I hated him because he meant so much to me even when I wished he didn’t. But most of all I hated that he was with you and you didn’t deserve him.”, Baz says getting frustrated with Agatha.

    “Baz..”, Simon starts but then Penny puts her hand on his shoulder, shaking her head.

    “I just never thought you two would be together. I didn’t even know you were gay. Especially not Simon. If anything I thought you had a crush on me.”

    “Oh come on, Agatha”, Penny interjects.

    “What it’s true!”, Agatha replies.

    “Please, you’re so full of yourself. The only reason Baz was paying attention to you was to get to Simon. It’s always been about Simon and for Simon it’s always been about Baz. You know I’m right.”

    Agatha stays silent.

    “These two has always been obsessed with each other. “, Penny continues.

    “I just don’t understand how this happened and how calm you are about it. Didn’t you freak out?”

    “I was shocked at first but then everything just made sense. Believe it or not, these two belong together.”

    Agatha sighs and leans back on the couch. “I-I don’t know what to say. This is unbelievable. I thought coming here would be a good idea and instead I find out my ex boyfriend is dating his nemesis.”

    “Don’t push it, Wellbelove.” Baz replies.

    Simon who has been quiet this entire time decides to speak up. “Why exactly are you here?”

    Baz and Penny look at Simon and then they look at Agatha wondering the same thing.

    “I uh, I thought maybe since Penny and me reconnected, it would be fine if I showed up. But I guess I was wrong.”

    “You're damn right about that.” , Baz mumbles.

    Agatha glares at Baz and looks back at Simon

    “I didn't expect for you to be here.”

    “You know that Simon lives with me.” , Penny interrupts.

    “Yeah but I was hoping he wasn't home.”, Agatha says quietly but then says louder, “I didn't expect that HE would be here too.”

    “You know what Wellbelove? The feeling is mutual. I didn't expect for you to be here either, none of us did. I was having a great time with my boyfriend, yes boyfriend cause that's what Simon is. He's my boyfriend, deal with it and you expect to be treated with open arms. You left. You have no idea what we’ve been through these past two years. What Simon has been through.”, Baz says clenching his fists, taking a step forward.

    Simon reaches out and puts his arm around Baz’s waist. Baz closes his eyes breathing deeply and leans closer to Simon and kisses his temple. Agatha uncomfortable with the public affection she is seeing, looks at Penny.

    “What is he talking about?”

    Penny and Baz look at Simon and Simon sighs and says “Guys, can you give us a minute?”

    “You sure Snow?”

    “Yeah, please.”

    Baz nods and gives Simon a kiss on the cheek and heads towards the kitchen. Penny gives Simon a reassuring smile and touches his arm, following Baz out.

    Agatha is looking at Simon expectantly. Simon sighs and sits next to her on the couch, making sure there is space between them. Their relationship with each other has been very awkward and distant ever since Agatha broke up with Simon.

    “I’m only going to tell you this because you used to be a big part of my life and we were once friends a long time ago. Do you deserve to know? Probably not. But I’m going to tell you anyways.”

    Agatha faces Simon actually concerned.

    “What’s going on Simon?”

    Simon looks at Agatha and really looks at her. Agatha hasn’t changed a bit, she still looks the same, beautiful as always but he feels a difference about her, lighter and happy. Well except for now, she’s clearly not happy now. Simon is shaken from his thoughts by Agatha snapping her fingers in front of him. Why didn’t he notice that she can be quite of a snob, oh right he was a guy who thought who was foolishly in love.

    “Uh that night, something happened to me. I um I lost my magic Agatha.”

    “What?” Agatha says shocked.

    “The mage took my magic and I ended his life. Everything happened so quickly. One minute I feel my magic slipping away from me into the mage and the next minute the mage is lying there on the ground lifeless.”

    Agatha gasps, covers her mouth with her hands and has tears in her eyes.

    “That’s not all. As my punishment, I re-live that night every single night as nightmares.”, Simon continues.

    “Oh my god.”, Agatha whispers.

    “I lost everything Agatha, my magic was everything to me. Although I didn’t know how to control it most of the time. It was a big part of me. Instead I got stuck with these wings and tail.”

    Agatha looks at Simon’s wings and his weird cartoon tail.

    “Do they hurt?”

    Simon looks back at his wings and looks at Agatha.

    “Yeah they do. I’m constantly in pain. These wings are pretty heavy. When I had magic, I didn’t feel them as much but now that I don’t, it’s a constant reminder of something I lost.”

    Agatha looks down at her lap, “Simon, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

    “No you didn’t. If it wasn’t for Baz and Penny, I would have died in there. They saved my life.” Simon looks at Agatha with tears in his eyes. Agatha looks down feeling ashamed and then looks at Simon deep in thought.

    “So you and Baz, huh?”

    Simon forms a small smile on his face that surprised Agatha.

    “Yeah, me and Baz.”

    Agatha shakes her head, still not believing it.

    “How?”

    “Um it actually happened before the whole mage incident.Well I kind of made the first move.”

    “Really?”, Agatha asks shocked and then started to think. “Wait! Are you telling me that the time where Penny and me went to pick you up from his place, you two were…”

    Simon chuckles, “Kind of, yeah. Well I was trying to figure out my feelings for him at that time but it became official after the incident.”

    “Wow. This is going to be hard to get used to.”, Agatha says to herself.

    “I know this sounds crazy, but I really do love Baz. I fell for him hard. I never thought this would happen. Half the time I thought he was out there to get me. But he really makes me happy and I don’t know what I would do without him.”

    Agatha looks at Simon and sees how genuinely he does love Baz and honestly she is glad that he found happiness, even if it’s with someone she didn’t expect.

    “See I knew we weren’t meant to be.”, Agatha smiles at Simon.

    “Yeah, I guess you were right. I never apologized to you for being a shitty boyfriend. Maybe we can be friends again, like we used to be.”

    “That’s okay, I was a shitty girlfriend too and yeah I would like that."

    Agatha and Simon both stood up and gave each other an awkward hug. Awkward because they haven’t seen each other in a while and because Simon’s wings are in the way.

    Simon and Agatha head towards the kitchen where Baz and Penny are sitting on the kitchen stools. Baz stands up the moment he sees them, goes straight to Simon and gives him a peck on the lips. Agatha stiffens up and Penny just laughs.

    “Trust me, you’ll get used to it.”, Penny says looking at Agatha.

    “Not soon enough. Are they always like this?”

    “Pretty much.”, Penny replies.

    “Well I’m going to take out Snow, we’ll be back later.” Baz says interlacing his fingers with Simon. Penny reaches behind her and gets a piece of paper and gives it to Baz.

    “Here, pass by the grocery store while you’re at it.”

    Baz winks at her and says, “You got it Bunce.” Baz and Simon leave the kitchen.

    “Looks like that’s something else I need to get used to.”, Agatha says confused but then looks at Penny seriously.

    "Why didn't you tell me?"

    Penny looks at Agatha with one eyebrow raised.

    "Agatha please. All you ever talked about was yourself and your perfect, fake life in California. Not once did you ask about Simon or me."

    Agatha looks down, knowing that Penny is right. Agatha thinks about what Simon just told her and says, “Penny tell me the truth. Is he really okay?”

    Penny looks at her and sighs.

    “No. He’s not.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here's chapter 6! I was trying to upload it as soon as possible since I start my senior year in college on Wednesday. I don't know when I'll be able to upload the next chapter because it's going to be a busy semester. But I'll try to post whenever I can. Hope you guys enjoy it!

_The Next day_ ,

    Baz enters the kitchen and sees Penny and Agatha sitting drinking coffee.

    “Morning Bunce.”, says Baz while yawning, then looks at Agatha.

    “Wellbelove.”

    “Baz.”, Agatha replies.

    Penny rolls her eyes and gives Baz his mug. Baz nods at her in appreciation and sits next to her.

    “How was it last night?”, Penny asks Baz taking a sip of her coffee.

    “It was tolerable, I woke him up in time before it got worse.”

    “So it’s true then, he really does re-live that night.” Agatha says interrupting their conversation. Baz takes a glance at her forgetting for a second that she was there and says, “Yup. Every. Single. Night.” Baz yawns again and Penny notices how exhausted he looks, so she decides to comment on it.

    “Don’t tell me you stayed up the entire night.”

    Baz looks at Penny for a second and then looks down at his mug. He didn’t stay up last night but that doesn’t mean he slept well. With everything that is going on, how could he?

    “No. It’s just this whole thing is exhausting. Mainly for him.” Baz replies and takes a sip of his coffee. Penny and Agatha look at each other feeling bad for Baz and Penny says, “Yeah, about that. I got Agatha all caught up in our plan.”

    “Great.”, Baz says bitterly. Agatha glares at him.

    “She’s willing to help.”. Penny continues.

    “Oh wow, what a miracle. Wellbelove actually wants to help this time.”, Baz says sarcastically. Agatha puts her mug down and looks at Baz.

    “Look, I’m trying, okay?”

    “Fine. What’s the plan?” Baz asks and looks at Penny. Agatha does the same.

    “Well I’m thinking we should go talk to my dad.” Penny says carefully trying to see Baz’s reaction.

    Baz puts his mug down, shaking his head. He scrubs his face with his hands and groans, “Snow is going to kill me.”

    “Okay, so we’ll talk to your dad, then what?”, Agatha asks.

    “Once my dad let us know when he’s free, we can plan out exactly how we are going to get Simon there.”

    “And how exactly are we going to do that?” , Baz asks sliding his mug away from him, he’s fully awake now and coffee got cold.

    “Well one of us will have to be with him for the majority of the day and do things that won’t create suspicion. The rest of us can be preparing with my dad, waiting for Simon to arrive. We just need to decide who takes him there.”, Penny says mostly hinting towards Baz but instead Agatha replies.

    “I can take him there.”

    Baz and Penny look at her like she’s crazy. With one eyebrow raised Baz says, “Right. Like you spending time with him won’t create suspicion.”

    Agatha annoyed with Baz, says, “ Okay, but we talked about being friends again. So maybe he won’t find out that I’m taking him to talk to someone.”

    Penny and Baz look at each other and laugh.

    “Please, he would know right away that you’re up to something. You do like to meddle.”, Penny says and Baz nods agreeing with her.

    Agatha sighs, giving up, “Ugh fine. You’re right, that’s exactly what I would do.”

    Penny looks at Baz. who is staring intently at the table, knowing exactly what she is going to say next.

    “I think Baz should be the one to take him.”

    Baz closes his eyes.

    “It’s going to break his heart.”

    Penny looks at him regretfully because she knows she is putting him in a terrible position. Especially since she knows Baz and Simon are already keeping things from each other and this is another secret to the list.

    Penny sighs, “I know, but it has to be done.”

    Baz looks at Penny with conflicted eyes.

    “He’s going to hate me. You too, if we do this.”

    “He’s not going to hate you. This is my idea remember? Yeah, he’s going to be angry, probably furious. We know this. He might shut us out for a couple of days, but this is to help him because we care for him and he will see that.” Penny reassures him.

    Baz not believing the last part but he knows that she said it to make things easier. “Okay, I’ll do it. Only because I want him to be better. He needs to be better.”

    “He will be. We’ll make sure of it.”, Agatha says surprising Baz.

    Baz never thought he would do this but he gives Agatha a small smile in return. Agatha thought she was seeing things but decides to give him a smile back. They are not close in being friends but it's a process. Baby steps right?

    “Alright. I’m going to check on Snow, hopefully he’s awake by now.” Baz says standing up and leaves the kitchen. Agatha stood up as well and followed him out.

    “Baz, wait!”

    Baz turns around and looks at Agatha suspiciously, wondering what she wants.

    “Yes?”

    “Um about yesterday. I-I know I reacted badly over the news of you and Simon. I just didn’t expect it and I…”

    Baz interrupts her.

    “Wellbelove, are you trying to apologize to me?”

    “Yeah, maybe I am.”

    Baz shocked says, “Wow I did not see that coming.”

    “Neither did I. But I was gone for two years so I shouldn’t have judged. I know I just arrived yesterday but I can see how much you care for him. You really do love him don’t you?”

    Baz softens his face and looks at Agatha with a soft smile.

    “Yeah I really do. Very much so.”

    Agatha surprised by Baz’s reaction, looks at him with her eyes wide. In all the years she has known Baz, not once has she seen him with a genuine smile. She has gotten used to his sneers, smirks and sarcastic remarks but never this. It’s different but a good kind of different.

    “So am I forgiven?”

    “For now.”, Baz says sneering at her and walks towards Simon’s bedroom.

 _Ahh there it is_ , Agatha thinks, shakes her head with a small smile on her face and goes back to the kitchen.

* * *

 

    Simon woke up to an empty bed besides him and is a bit relieved. There's a lot going on in his mind right now. Especially since Agatha is here now. Agatha. Why did she have to come now? Don't get me wrong he meant everything he said to her about being friends again. But there is a lot going on to include her in the list. If anything, her being here puts a lot of pressure on Simon. Not only his wings and tail are a constant reminder about that night, so is Agatha and she is a big one. She brings all the what ifs outcomes in his head. What if she stayed. What if she was there and things turned out differently. What if she ended up getting killed because of him. There are too many different ways that night could have turned out if Agatha chose to not run away and all of these thoughts are going through Simon’s mind right now.

    But the most prominent one is what he's keeping from Baz.  He can't get that night out of his head. That nightmare. God that nightmare. The thing is, it wasn't the same nightmare. It was something else entirely different and not in a good way. It terrifies him just thinking about it because it felt too real. It wasn't a normal nightmare. If anything it felt like a premonition and he's afraid if he tells Baz it would come true and that can't happen.

    “Oh great, you’re awake!”, Baz says as he enters the room and sees Simon sitting up on the bed. Then he sees the state that Simon is in.

    “Snow?” Baz rushes to Simon’s side. “What’s wrong love? You’re shaking.” Baz takes Simon’s hands carefully into his.

    Simon looks down at his hands and notices that they are trembling. He closes his eyes trying to calm himself down. Baz wasn’t supposed to see him like this. He opens his eyes and looks at Baz.

    “N-no-nothing’s wrong.”, Simon says trying to smile but it comes out as a grimace instead.

    “Your eyes say otherwise, you look like you’re being tortured. Is it your wings? Are you in pain? I can fix that right now if you are.”

    “Baz I’m okay, really.”

    Baz gives Simon a stern look, not believing him.

    “Okay maybe it is my wings”, Simon says hoping Baz won’t see that it’s something else entirely. Too late. Baz saw right through his facade.

 _Liar_ , Baz thinks.

    “I’ll get rid of the pain then.” Baz says and casts a “PAIN GO AWAY” spell even though he knows Simon is lying, he knows that Simon is always in pain because of his wings anyways. Baz tries to give him a small smile but instead ends up giving him a frown and Simon knew right there and then that he messed up again.

    “Baz..”

    “Don’t. Just don’t.”, Baz says standing up. “Bunce and Wellbelove are in the kitchen and there’s coffee if you want any. I’m going to take a shower.”

    “I’m sorry.”, Simon says hoping that Baz would forgive him.

    Baz looks at him and sees that Simon really does feel bad but it doesn’t change the fact that he just lied straight to Baz’s face.

    “Are you going to tell me exactly what that was about?

 _Please Simon, just tell me,_ Baz thinks.

    Simon stays silent.

    “Of course not.”, Baz mumbles and slams the bathroom door.

 _Shit_ , Simon thinks and puts his hands on his face.

* * *

 

    After Baz got out of the shower and got changed, Penny decided they should all go out and get some breakfast. Penny could tell there was something wrong with Baz and Simon because there was a lot of tension between them. If anything Baz is keeping distance between them. When they got into a diner and Simon excused himself to wash his hands, Penny decides to confront Baz about it.

    “Okay, what is going on?”

    “Oh thank god, I thought I was seeing things.”, Agatha interjects.

    Baz ignores her and replies to Penny. “Nothing.”

    Agatha snorts.

    Penny glares at her, “Can you give us a moment?”

    Agatha stands up annoyed because they clearly didn’t want to include her in whatever is going on and decides to go to the restroom herself.

    Penny looks back at Baz, “So?”

    “He lied to me Bunce.”

    “What happened?” Penny asks Baz confused.

    “I know Snow and me have been keeping things from each other and we both avoid the conversation but he lied to me to my face. I go in the room and he’s shaking and I asked him what’s wrong but he told me nothing so that I won’t be worried but I knew something was going on. I asked if he was in pain but that couldn’t be it.And he knew that I knew but instead he chooses to lie to me and tell me that it was…”

    “Wait, wait. Slow down Baz. Breathe. You think it has to deal with what he’s keeping from you?”

    “It has everything to do with what he’s keeping from me. His eyes Bunce. He looked like a tortured soul. I don’t know how long he was awake and what he was thinking about, but it’s something serious and I just don’t know why he won’t tell me?”

    “Maybe it’s the same reason why you won’t tell him your secret.” Penny looks at Baz with her eyebrows raised. Okay he deserved that. He shouldn’t be complaining when he hasn’t said anything too, it’s just very frustrating.

    “Baz I was meaning to ask. Are you positive that you’re immortal?”

    Baz sighs, “I don’t want to be. But the more I look into it, the more it points out to that direction.”

    Penny was going to say something else when her phone starts ringing and excuses herself from the table. Baz waves her off with his hand and tells her to not worry about it, besides he sees Agatha coming back and there’s no way they can finish their conversation now.

    “Who is she talking to?” Agatha asks as she sits down.

    “I have no idea.”

    Agatha looks at Baz trying her hardest not to ask what’s going on between him and Simon but Penny is right about one thing, she does like to meddle and she sure doesn’t like it being in the dark.

    “I know it’s not my business. But are you and Simon okay?”

    “You’re right. It’s not your business.”

    Agatha bites her lip and looks down, of course he wouldn’t tell her. What was she thinking?

    “Sorry. No we’re not.” Agatha looks up surprised and sees Baz looking down at the table.

    “But you and him yesterday.”

    Baz looks up and looks at Agatha seriously. “We love each other Wellbelove. We love each other very much and sometimes we like to express that. But underneath, things haven’t been okay. It hasn’t been for a couple of weeks.” Baz covers his face with his hand “I can’t believe I just told you that.”

    “I’m glad you did. Things make more sense now. You two are hiding things from each other.”

    “Is it that obvious?”, Baz asks surprised that Agatha noticed their dilemma. He always thought that she was self-centered. Well most of the time she is.

    “Yeah it is and knowing Simon, whatever he’s hiding he is doing it to protect you.”

    “So you think whatever Simon is hiding has to deal with me?” Baz asks thoughtful because he never saw it that way.

    “What other reason is there? I also know that whatever you’re not telling him is because you want to protect him too.”

    Baz leans back on the booth in shock. Agatha has only been here for like a day and she got it. She actually got it. That is one of the reasons why he hasn’t told Simon yet. Yes he wants to protect him but the main thing he wants to protect is his heart. Who would have thought that Agatha Wellbelove would figure it out. While Baz is looking at her like he’s never seen her before, Penny, done with her phone call was also looking at Agatha with wide eyes.

    “What?”, Agatha asks feeling uncomfortable with all the staring. Penny decides to speak on the behalf of Baz because Baz was speechless in that moment.

    “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”

    Agatha bites her lip, looking down and puts a strand of hair behind her ear feeling shy all of the sudden. Penny sits next to her and gives her a small smile.

    “Well I hate to be that person who ruins the moment but that was my dad. Looks like we won’t be able to put our plan in motion for a couple of weeks. He’s out of town.”

    “Great.”, Baz sighs. He was going to say something else but noticed Simon walking towards them. Simon sits next to Baz hesitantly, not sure if Baz wants him there or not. Baz thinks about what Agatha just told him and interlaces his fingers with Simon and squeezes his hand. Like he told Agatha, he loves Simon Snow too much.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a slow chapter but I hope you guys enjoyed it. Things will be picked up on chapter 7. Until then, thank you for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guy it's been a while, I know. I've been very busy with school and very stressed due to personal problems but I'm back and I took time in my busy schedule to write this chapter for you guys. I hope you enjoy it.

    A few weeks has passed and Baz, Simon and Penny has gotten used to having Agatha around. While Baz and Simon are in school, Agatha and Penny are trying to rekindle their friendship by trying to help Simon. Baz and Simon still haven't solved the elephant in the room, especially since they are in finals week. Penny and Agatha have noticed how distant Baz and Simon have become as the days go by. They use finals weeks as an excuse but they are not fooling anyone.

    Simon arrives home completely exhausted and in so much pain. His wings have been hurting him these past few days but today has been the worst. It doesn't help that he had three finals in one day either. He's surprised that he is still standing. Agatha and Penny look up when Simon enters the living room and sees his pained face, unable to stand up straight. Penny and Agatha rushed to his side, helping him stay up before he falls.

    “Simon what's wrong?”, Agatha asks, worried.

    “It’s his wings”, Penny replies instead, noticing Simon shutting his eyes because of the pain.

    “It really hurts.” Simon says.

    “We need get him in his room.”, Penny tells Agatha.

    Agatha nods and says, “I know but he's really heavy.”

    Penny notices how they are both struggling to keep Simon's weight up. Agatha and Penny both look at each other and yell, “BAZ!”

    Baz comes out of Simon’s room, annoyed.

    “What is it?”, then he notices Simon. Baz rushes towards their side and carefully carries Simon to the room. Baz didn't have to ask what was going on, one look at Simon’s face and he knew. Agatha and Penny follow him to the room. Baz lays Simon on the bed, gently, making sure he lays on his front.

    “Love? Be honest with me, from one through ten, how much does it hurt?”

    “Ten. Definitely ten.”, says Simon struggling to get the words out.

    Baz and Penny look at each other with wide eyes. Baz quickly lifts Simon a bit and starts to unbutton his shirt. Agatha confused with what is happening asks, “What is going on?”

    Penny replies as she reaches out to help Baz.

    “Ten is not a good thing, we need to check his back and wings”.

    Once Simon's shirt was off, Penny and Baz lay him back down and Penny does the visible spell to view Simon's wings while, Baz is trying to comfort Simon as he is groaning in pain. Baz, Penny and Agatha were shocked at what they saw.

    “Oh my god.”, Agatha whispers and covers her mouth.  
Simon’s back was red due to skin irritation, his veins were popping out and they looked swollen. His wings were a different story. His wings looked bruised up as if a truck ran over it a couple of times. Baz blinked trying to keep his emotions at bay. He's furious. He's furious that Simon is going through this pain. He’s furious at Simon for keeping this from them, from him. How could he? How could Simon keep this from him? How many hidden secrets are there?

    Penny sensing Baz’s anger gets close to Simon and sits on the edge of the bed. 

    “I got it.”, she whispers and heals Simon. Baz nods and steps out of the room.

    Agatha and Penny leave the room and sees Baz sitting on the couch with his head on his hands. Penny looks at Agatha and says, “Give me a minute.”

    Agatha nods, “I’ll make some tea.” and goes to the kitchen. Penny sits next to Baz and says. “He’s healed, he is just sleeping right now.”

    Baz looks up at her, nods and looks down again.

    “Looks like he’s been in pain for a while now.”, Penny continues.

    Baz snorts in bitterness, “Yup, and of course he kept that to himself.”

    Baz and Penny sit in silence.

* * *

     Simon opens his eyes and sees Baz next to him reading some kind of book, Simon couldn’t read the title because his eyesight was a bit blurred but he saw the first three letters, IMM. Baz quickly hides the book when he sees Simon looking at him. One look at Baz’s face and he knew that Baz wasn’t happy with him.

    “How are you feeling?”, Baz asks.

    “Much better, thanks.”, Simon replies being cautious. Baz nods at him.

    “How long, Snow?”

    “A week.”, Simon mumbles. Baz shakes his head and looks away from Simon. Simon sits up facing Baz, and is about to apologize but Baz interrupts him.

    “Why didn’t you tell me?”, Baz asks looking at Simon again but Simon stays silent and looks down.

    “Damn it Snow, why do you do this?”, Baz says angrily. Simon opens his mouth to say something but then closes his mouth, ashamed.

    Baz continues, “I thought we told each other everything. Why do you keep hiding shit from me?”

    Simon snorts, “Yeah, look who’s talking.”

    Simon looks at Baz straight in the eyes and Baz’s eyes got wide.

    “Excuse me?”

    “I’m not the only one who’s hiding things. What? You thought I wouldn’t notice. I’m not stupid. I know I may be slow sometimes. But it’s you Baz. I know you. You haven’t been completely honest with me either. What are you hiding?”

    Baz looks down at his hands and Simon takes them in his.

    “Please Baz, just tell me.”

    Simon looks at Baz, pleading with his eyes, Baz pulls Simon closer, looks at him straight to his eyes and says, “I’ll tell you when you tell me yours.”

    Simon flinches and stays silent.

    “I thought so.”, Baz shakes his head and pulls away from Simon. Baz gets out of the bed and starts putting on his shoes and reaches to grab his jacket, not able to stay in the same room as Simon. Simon notices this and grabs Baz’s arm before he left the room.

    “Where are you going?”, Simon asks worriedly.

    Baz pulls his arm away from Simon’s grasp, “Somewhere other than here.”

    “Why?”

    Baz still facing away from Simon says, “Because I can’t be in the same room as you right now, Snow.” Baz leaves the room leaving Simon standing in shock.

* * *

 

    Penny knew something was wrong when she sees Baz walking out of the room in a rush.

    “Is everything okay?”

    Baz suddenly stops not realizing Penny was there, “Uh no, um I-I just can’t be here right now, Penny.”

 _He said Penny_. Things are definitely not okay.

    “Okay, just do what you have to do”, Penny says softly.

    Baz nods in appreciation and walks towards the door, he stops before heading out.

    “J-just make sure he’s okay, alright?”

    “Of course.”, Penny replies as Baz leaves.

* * *

     It’s been hours and Baz still hasn’t returned and he’s definitely not answering Simon’s calls. Penny told him to give him time but Simon doesn’t know what to do, he’s worried. They had arguments before and they solved it right after but Simon knew this was different. He lost Baz’s trust and that is something he wanted to prevent. But it’s too late now an Simon needs to fix it, he just needs to know where Baz is. Simon starts to pace back and forth, trying to figure out where Baz would go when he suddenly bumps into the dresser and Baz’s book falls out.

    “Ow!”, Simon says rubbing his knee. Then he notices the book on the floor and picks it up.

    Penny and Agatha rushed to the room, hearing Simon’s yelp.

    “What happened?”, Penny asks but then sees Simon holding a book and his hands are trembling, Agatha notices the same thing and they both step forward, carefully.

    “Simon?”, Penny asks.

    Simon looks at her with wide eyes, opens and closes his mouth, looks down at the book, breathes in and out and says,

    “Why is Baz reading an immortality book?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a short chapter compared to the other chapters but I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless. I'm still not sure how to feel about this chapter but let me know what you think. Until next time... :).


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I know it's been a while. I really tried to update soon but school got very hectic for me. But enough of that, I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I really did take my time on this one.

_Hey it's Penny, where are you?_

_Baz pick up the phone, please it's an emergency._

_Penny again, Baz I'm starting to worry, please call back._

_Baz, this isn't funny. Pick up._

_Baz it's been hours and you haven't picked up the phone. Look things are a bit crazy over here you need to pick up._

_Baz I don't know where you are, but you need to come back._

_Baz. He knows. Simon knows._

* * *

 

    Penny stays staring at her phone, hoping for Baz to call her back. Simon is doing the same while pacing back and forth, while Agatha is sitting next to Penny, anxious. Baz has been gone for more than five hours and they haven't heard anything from him. Simon is worried sick. Penny and Agatha tried to calm him down but he wasn’t having it. 

    “Damn it! He is still not picking up!”, Simon says frustrated. 

    “Simon, I think you should sit down.”, Agatha says.

    “Not until Baz calls back”, Simon says still pacing not even looking at Agatha.

    “Simon..” Penny starts but Simon stops pacing and glares at her.

    “Don't. You knew and you didn't tell me.”

    Penny looks down at her hands biting her lip, Simon has never spoken to her this way. She doesn't like it. She looks back at him and says, “It wasn't my place to tell.”  
Simon scoffs, shaking his head. “I had the right to know!”, he yells.

    “Simon, I don't even know the entire story. Baz is the only one that can tell you it.”, Penny replies trying to reason with Simon. But Simon is far too angry at her to see any reason. He breathes in and out trying to calm himself and looks at Penny again.

    “How long have you known?”

    Penny is looking at Simon, pleading with her eyes. _Please don't ask me that_ , she thinks.

    “Simon, right now is not the time.”

    Simon shakes his head and looks away. He is silent for a few seconds and then says, “You know, the moment I looked at you. I just knew. I knew that you knew something. I just can't believe this entire time you were keeping this secret from me too.”

    Agatha couldn't believe what she was hearing. She stood up, annoyed and walks straight to Simon. “You're such a hypocrite. I know I haven't been here long. But don't you dare put the blame on this, on Penny. This is between you and Baz. Stop acting like you're the only one who's hurting. When you're keeping things from Baz too.”

    Simon stays silent and looks down, he looks up at Penny and says, “I'm sorry.” He then looks at Agatha with tears in his eyes, “I’m just scared.” Agatha hugs him and Penny stands up and does the same. 

    “I know. We all are. But right now all we can do is wait. Give him time. He’ll be back.”, Penny says.

    Simon nods while Agatha and Penny are guiding him towards the couch to sit.

* * *

 

_Meanwhile…_

    Baz couldn't believe he ended up here. A vampire bar out of all places. But he needed to go somewhere far. A place where that he knew Penny or Simon wouldn't find him. Speaking of Penny and Simon, they have been calling him nonstop but he doesn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. Especially Simon. He's too angry at him to talk to him and if he does, he might say something he’ll regret. Baz puts his phone on silent. Baz knows he can't stay angry at Simon for too long but as of now he just needs to be alone.  
Baz gestures to the bartender for another drink. He has had three so far. Maybe he should text Simon that he's ok or maybe Penny. Baz loses his train of thought when a girl sits next to him at the bar. 

    “Hey handsome, mind buying me a drink?”

    “Not interested.”, says Baz not looking at her.

    “Why? Cause you have a girlfriend?”, she says putting her hand on top of Baz's hand. 

    Baz snatches his hand away from her and smacks his glass on the counter, glaring at her.

    “No, because I'm gay.”, says Baz sneering at her nd takes another drink. 

    The girl shocked, apologized to him and left in a hurry.

    “Well that wasn't nice.”, says the bartender as she watched the entire scene in front of her unfold.

    Baz annoyed says, “Look, like I told that girl, I'm into guys not chicks.”

    The bartender laughs and says, “Oh don't worry. I find her way more attractive than you.”

    Baz eyes got wide in realization and smirks. He nods at her and takes another sip of his drink. 

    “Name is Leci by the way”, she holds out her hand to shake his. Baz returns the gesture. 

    “Baz.”

    Baz empties his glass and asks for another drink.

    “I might need to cut you off.”

    “Trust me. I'm not even drunk yet.”, Baz says as Leci pours him another drink.

    “Let me guess. Boyfriend troubles?”, Leci asks with one eyebrow raised. 

    Baz snorts, “You can say that again.” Baz looks at his drink with pain in his eyes. It's not even troubles anymore, it's a whole issue and it's affecting their relationship. But he's not going to tell that to a complete stranger. Baz was never the type of guy to talk about his feelings to others, Simon was the exception. 

    “That bad huh?”

    Baz looks at Leci forgetting she was there and nods at her. Leci was going to say something else when she noticed Baz’s phone getting an incoming call from snow.

    “Is that him?”

    Baz looks at what she was looking at and realized that Simon was calling again and it showed his default picture, which was a picture of Simon with his eyes closed and a small smile on his face. 

    “He’s cute.”

    Baz gives her a small smile. “Thanks.”

    “Look I don't know what you two are fighting about. But if he's calling you, he must really care.”

    “I know. I'm just not ready to face him yet. Especially not like this.”, Baz says while gesturing to himself and the empty glasses he has by his side. 

    “Well I suggest you to stop drinking then.”, Leci says with a smirk.

    “Touché.”, Baz says with a smirk of his own, while finishing the rest of his drink and gestures for one more. “This will be the last one, I swear.”

    Leci rolls her eyes and pours him another drink. “Well if you need me I'll be over there.” Baz nods at her when a thought comes to mind. 

    “Hey, wait! Can I ask you something?”

    “What's up?”

    Baz hesitates for a second and thinks carefully about what he's going to say. “If you found out you're immortal and your partner isn't, what do you do?”

    Leci stops and her eyes get wide, looks down and looks up at Baz again with pain in her eyes, “I’ll let them go.”

    Baz gasps and leans back while his hands clenches into a fist.

    “You're…” Baz doesn't finish his sentence because he knew Leci knew exactly what he was going to ask her. Leci just gives Baz a sad smile, turns around and walks away. Baz stays frozen for a few seconds and reaches for his phone. He sees his wallpaper of Simon and traces his face with his thumb. He then notices the missed calls from Penny and Simon and decides to listen to their voicemails. 

    _Baz. He knows. Simon knows._

    Baz covers his mouth with his hand in disbelief and a tear drops from his eye. Baz doesn't even bother wiping it off. Leci notices this and walks towards him and put her hand on his shoulder.

    “Go. Don't worry about the drinks. Just go.”

    Baz nods at her in appreciation and hurriedly leaves the bar.

* * *

 

    Baz enters the house quietly. Penny, Agatha and Simon all arise as soon he walked in. Penny rushes towards him and says, “Jesus Baz! Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick.” 

    “I'm fine, Bunce.”, Baz replies not looking at her. Instead he was looking at Simon who was still standing by the couch looking at him as well. Penny notices this and gestures to Agatha so they can leave them alone to talk. Simon and Baz still staring at each other, walk slowly towards each other. Once they are standing face to face, Simon surprises Baz by pulling him into a hug. Baz puts his arms around Simon's torso and hugs him tighter.

    “I was so worried. Don't you ever do that to me again”, cries Simon. Baz kisses his temple and says, “I’m sorry. I'm okay Snow. Nothing happened to me.”

    Simon pulls back a bit and reassures himself by checking for anything that might say otherwise, once he made sure he was okay, he nods at Baz. Baz gives Simon a small smile in return and kissed the inside of Simon’s wrist. Baz wipes the tears from Simon’s face and they looked at each other for a few moments knowing that they need to face reality soon.

    “We need to talk.”, says Baz. Simon nods and they walk to his room. 

    Simon goes straight to his bed and sits waiting for Baz who was taking his jacket and shoes off. Baz sits next to Simon and interlaces their fingers together. Simon gets closer to Baz and puts his head on Baz’s shoulder. Baz caresses Simon's hand and starts to speak softly.

    “I'm assuming you have questions for me.”

    “Yeah. Are you actually immortal?”

    Baz inhales and exhales, “I don't know but it's definitely leaning that way.”

    “When did you come up with the conclusion that you might be immortal?”

    “The week that I wasn't here. I always notice when something changes on my body. Perks of being a vampire, it doesn't matter if it's something small, I could always tell. But I realized that nothing was changing for a while and I panicked. So I did some research and the only thing that would come up is immortality. I didn't know what to do. How do I change the fact that I'm not aging anymore? The only thing I can do is find answers. But even that is hard to do. I wanted to tell you but I got scared. I'm really scared, Snow.”, Baz says with his voice cracking. 

    Simon picks his head up and wraps his arms around Baz and hugs him to his side. Baz kisses his cheek and pulls Simon closer.

    “So is this why you were distant? Because you are still trying to figure out if you're immortal or not and you're scared that you might actually be?”  
Baz nods.

    “I could have helped you. I could still help you, Baz . You should have told me because no matter what, we are in this together.” Simon says holding Baz’s face in his hands while caressing his cheek. Baz leans towards his touch and says, “ I know, I know. I'm sorry. I was just really terrified. Every time I tried to tell you, I couldn't let the words come out.”

    Baz puts his forehead against Simon's forehead, “I don't want to lose you.”

    Simon's eyes get wide, “You're not. I'm not going anywhere. Whether you're immortal or not I will still be here by your side. Do you hear me? I will never leave you. I love you. I love you so much and we'll get through this. I know we will. You're stuck with me, Tyrannus Basilton Pitch.”

    Baz looks at Simon with wonder, love and so much pain. Baz starts crying. Simon leans back a bit and looks into his eyes. Simon is shocked with what he sees. All he sees is pain, so much pain and in that moment he knew. His arms fall in defeat.

    “That's not the problem is it? You're going to leave me if you are immortal, aren't you?”, Simon asks with tears in his eyes. Baz nods slowly, still crying. Simon starts crying not believing at what he was hearing. Baz gets closer trying to wipe Simon's tears away but Simon backs away from him.

    “Don't. Why Baz? Why?”

    “Because I can't watch you die. Because I can't make you go through this pain. The pain of watching me stay young while you get older by every second. I can't do it. I won't do it.”  
Simon looks away shaking his head, he's trying to control his emotions but failing miserably, he starts sobbing.

    Baz gathers him in his arms, “Snow, love shh it's okay.”

    “No it's not. It's not fair. You don't get to decide this for me. Don't you dare. I don't care if I'll go through that pain for the rest of my life. As long as I am with you, I don't care. I am not losing you. You are not leaving me. You can't leave me Baz. You just can't. I won't allow it. Not like in m-my, m-my, n-night…”, Simon stops talking not able to get the words out and realizes that he already said too much. He can't let Baz go, the thought of losing him, kills him. 

    Baz freezes. Was Simon going to say what he thinks he was going to say? Is Simon finally going to tell him what's going on with him? Baz caresses Simon’s back trying to calm him down. He puts one finger under Simon’s chin and lifts his face up. There it is. That same tortured look he saw last time.

    “Snow?”, Baz asks worriedly. “Like what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Don't be afraid to leave comments and feedback, I really enjoy reading them. I also have a statement to make. This story is ending soon but I'm thinking of writing a sequel. Let me know your thoughts below if you guys will be interested and I'll start making an outline. Thank you. Till next time :).


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Finally got time to post this chapter. I've been working on it for a couple of days. Hope you guys enjoy!

_Previously, “Snow?”, Baz asks worriedly. “Like what?”_

    “I-I don't think I can. I d-don’t…”, Simon says struggling to catch his breath. “Hey.”, Baz says softly. “It's me. Just let me in.”

    Simon looks at Baz and sees a lot of different emotions in his eyes. Pain, worried, fear and love.

 _Love_ , Simon thinks.

   Simon loves this man with all his heart and he would do anything to keep him in his life. In that moment Simon realizes that he can't keep this secret any longer. Simon touches Baz’s cheek and breathes out, “Okay. I was going to say, like my nightmare.”

    Baz eyes widened and then closes them in relief.

 _Finally_ , Baz thought.

   Simon scooches closer to Baz and grabs both of his hands and holds it in his. Baz notices how Simon is having a hard time to get his thought processed at the moment as he is opening and closing his mouth unable to get any words out.

    “Snow?”, Baz says giving Simon a soft look. Simon looks up at Baz and gives him a confused look.

    “It's okay. You don't have to rush into it. You can tell me when you're ready. Take your time.”’ Baz says encouraging.

    Simon looks at Baz with wonder. What did he do to deserve this man? For some reason Baz always knows the right things to say in the time of need. It makes Simon love him even more. Simon breathes in and out and looks at Baz with determination. Baz seeing this, sits up straight and waits patiently for Simon to start.

    “Um so you know how I've been having the same nightmare every night?”  
Baz nods.

    “Well, l-lately I've been having a different nightmare. I um…”, Simon chokes from the image popping in his and lets a few tears out.

    Baz getting choked up from his own tears, hating seeing Simon like this, pulls him closer. Baz starts wiping Simon’s tears away and says, “Deep breaths love.”, and kisses his forehead.

    “Sorry”, Simon apologizes.

    Baz shakes his head and says, “You have nothing to be sorry for. I know this is hard for you. But you're trying and that's all that matters.”

    Simon gives Baz a small smile and kisses Baz’s hand.

    “Now what happened in that nightmare?”, Baz asks trying to get Simon talking again. Simon shakes his head trying to get the image out of his head and prepares himself to tell Baz the nightmare. 

    “Everything starts the same way as the other nightmare. I’m looking for the mage and when I find him, the same events occur. The mage is taking away my magic as you and Penny walk in.”

    “I remember.”, Baz whispers.

    Simon closes his eyes and gulps. After all these years it is still hard for them to talk about.

    “Things got out of control and you did that spell. B-but that is where things changes.”, Simon says. Baz looks at him with questioning eyes. Baz is this close to finally know what Simon has been keeping from him.

    “What happened Snow?”, Baz asks worried.

    “I-I don’t know what happened but I suddenly lost control and started destroying everything around me. Penny tried to get close to me but you stopped her and told her that you got this. And t-then...”

    Simon stops talking again, wiping his eyes as he starts crying again. Simon doesn’t know how he can get the courage to say the next part. This is what has been haunting him these past few weeks. Baz right away knew that the next part is going to be the hardest part and what Simon has been struggling with. But seeing Simon like this is making Baz nervous.

    “Then what?”, Baz asks softly pretending to act that he is calm although his heart is beating fast right now. Baz has no idea what to expect and frankly that is freaking him out.  
Simon looks at Baz for a long moment, taking him in. Acting as if he would lose him at any moment, by touching his face and memorizing Baz features.

    Simon does a broken sigh, putting his arms down. “You walked slowly towards me. You were trying to help me come to my senses by reminding me of who I am. But I was far too gone. I wasn't listening and you didn't know what to do because your method wasn't working. But then you did the stupidest thing.”, Simon says angrily.

    Baz eyes widened knowing exactly what Simon was going to say next. Baz knowing himself and his feelings for Simon, he can picture exactly what Simon saw.

    “I touched you, didn't I?”

    “Yes. You did.” Simon looks at Baz with pain in his eyes. “For some reason you thought touching me was going to be the right thing. But instead it was the worst possible thing you could have done. Touching me was your way of connecting with me and letting our feelings for each other do the rest of the work. But it didn't happen because the next thing I know, the mage and you were lying on the ground, dead.”

    Baz closes his eyes in agony and let his tears fall. God why does Simon always have to suffer with these types of nightmares. It’s not fair. Baz was so into his thoughts that he almost missed Simon whispering.

    “You know what was the worst part?” Simon looks at Baz in despair. Baz answers him by shaking his head.

    “Just a moment before everything went down. You looked at me in anguish but then it changed to acceptance because you knew you were going to die. You knew all along and you accepted it. You looked at me and smiled.”, Simon scoffs, shaking his head. “You smiled and told me that you loved me and that out of everyone that could have killed you, you were glad it was me.”

    Baz gasps still crying, closes his eyes and covers his mouth. The crazy thing is that if this actually happened, that is exactly what Baz would have done. Baz opens his eyes and looks at Simon who is roughly trying to wipe his tears away. Baz reaches out to stop him but Simon pulls back.

    “No! I fucking killed you Baz. I killed you. With my bear hands. Y-you died in my arms. I-I lost you forever and it was my fault. It felt so real. God it felt so real. A-and now you're telling me that you might leave me because you might be immortal? It's like my nightmare was a premonition for the future and that scares the hell out of me. I-I can't l-lose you.”, Simon says frantically.

    “Hey look at me”, Baz says trying to grab Simon's attention since he is looking away, shaking his head.

    “Look. At. Me.”, Baz demanded gently.

    Simon turns to look at him slowly with tears running down his face. Baz holds Simon’s head softly, “I’m here. I’m not leaving you.”

    “Until you do.”, Simon replies.

    Baz shakes his head softly and looks at Simon with pleading eyes.

    “No. I can't leave you Snow. You're too important to me. You're the love of my life. All I want to do is protect you..”

    “And I want to protect you!”, Simon interrupts.

    “Shh. I know. I know.”, Baz says as he pulls Simon closer and hugs him, resting his head on top of Simon’s head.

    “I’m sorry. You’re right. I can’t do this alone. I need you there every step of the way. Like you said, we’ll go through this, together.”

   “And afterwards?”, Simon asks in a small voice.

    “I’m not going anywhere.”, Baz states.

   Simon looks up at him. “You mean it?”

    “Yes.” Baz answers as he puts Simon’s hair away from his face. Baz gently caresses Simon’s cheek and leans to kiss him softly. They stay like that for a few minutes until Baz pulls away and looks at Simon with a small smile.

    “Thank you.”

    Simon looks at him confused. “For what?”

    Baz smile gets bigger, “For letting me in and fighting for us.”

    Simon eyes got wide and grabs Baz pulling him in into a passionate kiss.

    “Always”, Simon says pulling away. “I’m sorry. For not letting you know sooner.”

    “Don’t apologize. I understand why it was so difficult for you. But Snow, we can’t keep doing this to each other. Okay? Next time you have this nightmare. Let me know. I’m serious.”

    Simon nods rapidly. He finally feels relieved for telling Baz. Simon feels as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. There is no way he’s going to keep things like this from Baz ever again.

    “The same goes to you. Any new information about this immortality situation you let me know as soon as possible.”

    “It’s a deal.”, Baz says smiling, kissing Simon again.

    Baz lays down, pulling Simon on top of him still kissing. Pouring out all of their feelings for each other in that one kiss. After a few minutes of kisses and soft touches, they both pull away.

    “I love you.”, Baz and Simon say at the same time. Baz smirks while Simon blushes.

    Simon then puts his head on Baz’s chest while Baz puts his arms around him, hugging him tight. Baz and Simon are both enjoying the silence. Although they still don’t know what they are going to do with Baz’s situation, for once in these past few weeks there wasn’t any tension. Oh how they missed this.

    “Baz?”

    “What is it love?”, Baz says as he leans down to kiss the top of Simon’s head.  
   

    “I don’t want to fall asleep.”, Simon says scared.

    Baz looks down at Simon immediately, seeing the terror in his eyes. Simon is terrified of falling asleep and in that moment Baz got an idea.

    “Then we won’t”

    “What do you mean?”, Simon looks at Baz confused.

    “We won’t fall asleep. As a matter of fact, I think we should go out.”, Baz continues.

    “Wait. what? Baz is late and I don’t want to keep you up.” Simon says, sitting up.

    Baz interlaces his hands with Simon's.“If you don’t want to go to sleep, then I'm not going to.”

    Simon looks at Baz with wonder and shakes his head slowly. Simon has to admit that he feels relieved even though Baz is going to stay up when he doesn’t have to. But that is the thing, the fact that Baz is willing to stay up because Simon is scared to fall asleep, means so much to him.

    “Okay. But go out?”

    “Yeah. Why not? Let’s do it. We’ll find a place to eat and just have a good time. It would be our own little thing. Besides it can be a date. We haven’t gone out on a date in a long time. What do you say?”, Baz says hoping for Simon to say yes.

    Simon smiles widely. “Okay, Let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay they finally told their secrets. I hope you guys enjoyed this. Let me know your thoughts below. Until next time... (Baz and Simon's date).


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, its been a while I know. First, I like to say Happy New Year. Second, I'm finally done with my first semester of my senior year in college. So I have a mini break before the second semester starts, meaning I can finally focus on this story again. I wanted to update this yesterday but I didn't finish editing in time. Nevertheless, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

    It's a beautiful night… well technically morning, while Baz and Simon are strolling around in complete silence, enjoying each other's company. Baz looks at Simon from the corner of his eye and sees Simon with a small smile on his face. Simon notices Baz looking at him and raises an eyebrow. “What?”

    Baz smiles and says, “Nothing. Just looking.” Baz winks at him and looks straight ahead.

    Simon snorts and shakes his head. Baz looks at him again with a soft smile and Simon catches him again.

    “Baz…”, Simon chuckles.

    “What? I like seeing you like this.” Baz gives Simon a kiss on the cheek. Simon blushes,

    “Like what?”

    “Peaceful”, Baz replies. Simon smiles at him and Baz interlaces their fingers together as they continue walking.

    “Are you sure there's something open at this time?”, Simon looks around seeing all the stores closed.

    “Nope.”, Baz replies instantly. “But I'm sure we’ll find something.”

    Simon is enjoying the view, while Baz is looking for something to be open. Simon has never seen the streets so empty and calm before. Simon knows that Baz is used to this since he's the one that goes out at this time to hunt. But for Simon this is the first and somehow he feels closer to Baz and his world this way.

    Baz suddenly stops which takes Simon out of his own thoughts. Baz points to a small Japanese restaurant and looks at Simon questioning. Simon’s answer was to pull Baz towards the restaurant, eagerly. Baz lets out a small chuckle and keeps up with Simon's pace. 

    Once inside they noticed how nice the restaurant is. There were small lights hanging from the ceiling, and the room was softly lit. There was soft classical music playing in the background and the table were nicely set up. The atmosphere in the room felt very relaxing and romantic. It was secluded. It was perfect.

    “Wow, this is beautiful”, Simon says, mesmerized. Baz agrees with a small hum, still looking around. He spots a nice secluded table towards the back and guides Simon there. Baz pulls out a chair for Simon to sit and then sits in his, across from him. The waitress notices them and walks towards their table.

    “Kon’nichiwa”, she says as she hands them menus.

    “Kon’nichiwa”, Baz and Simon reply. 

    “Can I start you guys with drinks?”

    “Yeah, sure. Snow what do you want to drink?”

    “I'll just have some tea, please.”

    The waitress nods with a smile. “Of course and you sir, what would you like?”, she asks while looking at Baz. 

    “I’ll have the same, thanks.”

    “Are you guys ready to order or do you need more time?”

    Baz and Simon look at each other. “A bit more time.”, Simon replies.

    The waitress smiles back and says, “No problem. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

    “Will do.”, Baz says and the waitress leaves to prepare their drinks. 

    Baz and Simon stay silent as they look through the menu. Simon's stomach growls loudly, looking at the list of dishes. Baz hears this and lets out a small chuckle.

    “See anything you like?”, Baz asks teasingly, taking a small glance at Simon.

    “Everything sounds delicious.”, Simon says, still looking at the menu. “Omg that looks really good”

    Baz looks up from his menu and looks at Simon questionly. Simon turns his menu around and shows Baz the picture. Baz hums in agreement.

    “But oh man that looks good too and this one and this…”, Baz reaches out to touch Simon's hand and Simon stops rambling.

    “Snow…”, Baz says chuckling. “Just pick one. Or two. It's my treat and I want to spoil you.”

    “Really?”, Simon asks astonished. Baz nods at him with a soft smile on his face. Simon gives Baz a big smile in return and looks back at the menu eagerly. Simon looks back at Baz

    “What about three?”.

    Baz shakes his head and covers his face with his hand. “Don’t push it.”

    “Okay two it is.”, Simon mumbles to himself. Baz shakes his head again and smiles at Simon. He puts his menu down, rests his head on his hand and stares at Simon who is completely focused on his menu, while biting his lip. Baz finds it cute that Simon is having a hard time trying to figure out what to eat. Man, the guy sure loves to eat. Baz swears that Simon has a black hole in that stomach of his. 

    “Okay, I know what I want.”, Simon says as he closes his menu. Baz who is still in the same position, smirks at him.

    “Are you sure?” Simon’s hand twitches on top of the menu.

   “Yes I’m sure.”

    Baz tries not to smile and nods his head. “Okay, I’ll call the waitress.”

    “Wait!”, Simon exclaims, picking up his menu again. Baz snorts, knowing Simon too well.

    “Okay, now I’m good.” Simon says as he pushes the menu towards Baz. Baz smiles at him, takes one of Simon’s hands and leaves a small kiss. Simon interlaces his fingers with Baz as Baz calls the waitress. 

    The waitress sets down their drinks on the table and takes their food orders. Once the food was done the waitress comes back with their food. Simon stares at it, his mouth immediately watering. “Wow this looks great, thank you.”

    Baz nods at the waitress. 

    “Enjoy, let me know if you need anything else.”, She says and walks away.

    Simon starts eating the moment she leaves. Baz notices this and says, “Woah Snow, slow down. The food is not going anywhere.”

    Simon looks sheepish. “Sorry it’s really good.” He says with his mouth full. Baz smiles and thinks, _Same old Simon._ They continued eating and as they are eating they tease each other and have small conversations. When suddenly Simon says something funny that has Baz laughing with his head back. Simon stares at him with his mouth open. Baz looks at him with an eyebrow raised.

    "You’re gorgeous.”, Simon blurts out.

    Baz smirks and winks at Simon. “You’re not bad yourself.”

    Simon blushes. Baz bites his lips and shakes his head smiling.

    “Absolutely stunning. Dammit Snow, you know what that blush does to me.”

    “Shut up.”, Simon says embarrassed and takes a sip of his drink.

    “I have missed that laugh. I have missed this. Us.”, Simon continues.

    Baz looks at Simon and gives him a small smile. “We still had our moments.”

    “Yeah, but they didn’t last long. Now that everything is out in the open. It feels like it used to be. How we used to be.”

    “With no secrets.”, Baz adds on.

    “Exactly.”

    Baz looks at Simon’s empty plates and asks, “Want to get out of here?”

    “Yes please.”

    Baz asks for the check as Simon takes Baz hands and starts playing with his fingers. Baz notices a small spot on the corner of Simon’s lips some sauce that Simon didn’t wipe away.

    “Come here”, Baz says and Simon leans closer. Baz smudges it away with his thumb.

    “There, you missed a spot.”

    “Thank you.”, Simon says and gives Baz a kiss on the lips. They separate but they stay still close enough for Baz to keep caressing Simon’s face. At that moment the waitress stops at the table, realizing they were having a moment, “Sorry for interrupting, here’s your check. Enjoy the rest of your day”

    “Thank you.”, Baz says as he takes the check. Baz looked at the price and left some bills on the table. He nods at Simon to stand up and they leave the restaurant, holding hands. Once outside, they start walking back towards they came from. At one point Baz pulls Simon into the street and swings their arms between them.

    “Um Baz, we’re on the street.”

    “I know.”, Baz answers nonchalant.

    “What if a car passes?”

    “Trust me. This town is pretty vacant at this time. No cars are going to pass.”

    “Okay.”, Simon says, trusting him. They continue to walk in silence until Baz speaks again.

    “Remember the first time we made love?”

    Simon chokes, not expecting this question. Baz pats his back. 

    “Yea.”, Simon says blushing.

    “We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.”

    Simon snorts, “That was our problem from the moment we started dating.”  
Baz laughs.

    “True. I remember there were times when we just stopped in random places and started making out.”

    Simon chuckles, “And Penny had to separate us every time.”

    Baz suddenly stops walking and puts his arms around Simon, pulling him closer to him. Baz puts his forehead against Simon’s. “Well Penny is not here is she?”

    Baz crushes his lips against Simon’s lips.

    There they are in the middle of an empty street, making out without a care in the world. It was their moment, their own little bubble. They knew they have to face reality soon. But at the moment they are two men who are completely in love with each other.

    Simon breaks the kiss, letting out a big yawn.

    “Sorry.”, Simon says as Baz lets out a small chuckle, giving Simon a kiss on the forehead.

    “You can’t force yourself to stay awake.”

    “I know.”, Simon sighs sadly.

    “I can try a sleeping spell…”

    “You tried that last time. Remember? It didn’t work. It never does.”

    Baz caresses Simon’s cheek.

    “Okay. Then I’ll just stay awake so I can wake you up quickly and then I’ll sleep afterwards.”

    Simon looks down sadly.

    “I hate that this affects you as much as it affects me. You don’t sleep either.”, Simon says touching Baz’s face.

    “Hey, it’s my Job to make sure you are okay. You will always come first. No matter what. Now let’s get you home. You look like you’re about to pass out from the exhaustion.”

    “Okay.”, Simon sighs. “But in the meantime, I’m not done kissing you.”

    Baz gives him a wide smile and leans down to continue kissing Simon.

    Right now, it’s their time. Later, back to reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you go, I hope you enjoyed Simon and Baz's date. Don't forget to leave feedback. Till next time :).


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm so sorry for not updating sooner. It's been a while, I know. Things got a bit crazy with school and I also had a major writers block. I started writing this chapter over a month ago but I was struggling with finishing it and get my ideas across. For a while I forgot where I was going with this story and it sucks because I really enjoy writing this. But I'm not giving up on it, I started it and I'm going to finish it.This might not be my best chapter but I worked hard on it. Don't be afraid to leave feedback, I recommend it. Love hearing what you guys think, it motivates me. With that said, here's chapter 11 :).

    Penny wakes up, goes to the living and notices how silent the house is. Well it's always silent in the morning but there's something missing. Oh that’s right Baz isn't awake. Curious, Penny walks towards Simon's bedroom and knocks on the door. No answer. Penny quietly opens the door and looks inside. The room was empty. 

_Weird_ , she thought as she closes the door. Penny starts to get worried. She knows yesterday was intense. She is hoping that things between Baz and Simon are solved. She takes out her cellphone, looking for Simon's phone number when Baz and Simon walk in.

    “Oh hey Penny.”, Simon says noticing her.

    “Uh hi. I was about to call you. Why are you guys up so early?”, Penny says, putting her phone away and walks towards them.

    “We haven't slept.” Baz answers her.

    “Wait. What?”

    Baz and Simon chuckle.

    “We went on a date.”, Simon says with a big smile on his face while Baz and him stare at each other lovingly. Baz leans in and gives Simon a small kiss on the lips.

    Penny smirks, looking at them.

    “So am I safe to say that everything is good between you two?”

    “Yes, we’re perfect.”, Baz says winking at Simon.

    “Good. I'm glad.”, Penny smiles and turns around heading towards the kitchen. “Go and get some sleep. You two look like you're about to pass out.”

    “Bunce?”

    Penny turns around questionly.

    Penny is surprised when Simon and Baz pull her into a group hug. Penny awkwardly pats their backs. “Uh guys?”

    “We’re sorry for putting you in the middle of this. It wasn't fair and we should have solved it sooner.”, Simon says as they break apart from the hug.

    “Apology accepted. Just don't do it again.”

    “We won't.”, Baz replies.

    “I'm serious. You don't know how hard it was seeing you guys so distant. It wasn't right and honestly after these past two years, seeing you guys together and in love has been a huge part of my life.”

    “Aww Bunce you love us.”, Baz says teasing her.

    “Of course I do. Both of you.”, Penny says surprising Baz. 

    Baz gives Penny a small genuine smile in return.

    “Alright, now both of you go to bed.”, Penny says as she enters the kitchen, while Simon and Baz enter the bedroom.

    The moment they entered the room, they fell onto the bed in exhaustion.

    “I'm too exhausted to change my clothes for bed”, Simon whines, while having his face on his pillow.

    Baz chuckles, “Here let me help you.” 

    Baz sits up and does a spell to make Simon’s wings visible again. He then takes off Simon’s shirt carefully , making sure he doesn't hurt his wings. Next were his shoes and pants. By the time Baz finished taking Simon’s clothes off, he realized that Simon fell asleep. With a soft chuckle, Baz changed for bed, lies down next to Simon, giving him a kiss on the forehead before falling into a deep slumber.

* * *

 

    After a good few hours of sleep, Simon wakes up before Baz. He looks at him with a soft smile and caresses his face. Simon thinks about last night and it's crazy how everything passed by so quickly. It started off with Simon hiding his worst nightmare and Baz struggling with issues of immortality. It makes you realize how important communication and trust is in a relationship. Not that they don't trust each other, but situations like these are important to let your partner know. That is what Baz is for Simon. He is his partner, lover, friend and best of all, his soulmate. Simon knows that there is no way Baz is going to go through this alone. He has people who care for him and he's going to prove that to Baz. With that in mind, Simon left the bed, put some pants on and left the room looking for Penny.

* * *

 

    Baz wakes up and touched the side of the bed trying to reach for Simon. Baz notices that Simon is not next to him and frowns. Before he starts wondering where he is, Baz sees Simon coming out of the bathroom, only wearing a towel.

    “Hmm. What a view!”, Baz says with his head resting on his hand, a smirk on his face. 

    Simon startled, looks at Baz and blushes.

    “Hey, did you sleep well?”

    “Mhhm. It would have been better if I woke up next to you. But I don't mind this. I don't mind this at all.” , Baz says with a wink.

    “Shut up!” Simon says feeling embarrassed.

    Baz chuckles, sits up and stretches his arms and notices Simon checking him out from his peripheral vision. 

    “You don't play fair.”, Simon says.

    Baz snorts. 

    “Me? Do you see yourself? I'm not the one with the towel.”

    “B-but you're shirtless, showing off your amazing abs and those toned arms… and the way you stretch and damn those arms.”

    Baz looks at Simon with one eyebrow raised, amused. 

    “Your shirtless too.” Baz points out.

    Simon grabs his clothes and walks towards the bathroom, “Oh whatever!” , he says as he closes the bathroom door.

    Baz laughs out loud and hears Simon groan in annoyance which makes Baz have another fit of laughter. Baz stands up and walks towards the bathroom. 

    “Snow?”

    “Yes?”

    “I’m just teasing , love.”

    Simon opens the door and looks at Baz with a playful glare. He shakes his head with a small smile.

    “Why do you have to be so attractive?”

    Baz laughs and pulls Simon into a hug.

    “Look who's talking.”

    Simon rolls his eyes and gives Baz a kiss on the lips. Baz was getting really into it until Simon's stomach starts growling. Baz ends the kiss with a chuckle and looks at Simon with one eyebrow raised.

    “What? I'm hungry.”

    Baz shakes his head and gives Simon another kiss on the lips.

    “Okay, let me take a quick shower first.”

* * *

 

    Baz and Simon entered the living room and they see Penny and Agatha carrying books.

    “Okay let’s do this!”, Penny says putting the books on the coffee table with Agatha right behind her. 

    “What's going on?”, Baz asks confused. 

    “We're going to solve this immortality issue once and for all.”, Penny says with a small smile.

    Baz shocked, looked at Simon, "Did you do this?"

    Simon gives him a small smile, "I told you, you're not alone in this."

    Baz shakes his head, in wonder and crushes Simon towards him, giving him a passionate kiss.

    “Okay lovebirds, let’s get to work.”, Agatha interrupts their moment and sits down on the couch next to Penny.

    “Alright. Let’s get to work.”

    Baz grabs a book and sits on the other side of Penny. Simon follows his lead and sits between Baz’s legs on the floor.

    A few hours passed and the living room is full of open books everywhere. Within the hours, Baz ended up on the floor with Simon. At the moment, Baz is lying down on his back, while Simon is lying down with his head on Baz’s stomach and there are multiple books surrounding them. Penny and Agatha are still sitting on the couch, reading some of the few books that were left. Simon breaks the silence after finishing his book he had in his hands.

    “Anything?”

    “No”

    “Nope.”, Penny and Agatha said.

    “Same here.”, Simon sighs, sitting up.

    “Damn it.”, Baz says, pushing his book to the side and puts his face on his hands.

    Simon reaches out and grabs one of Baz’s hand, squeezing it. Baz squeezes back and suddenly stands up. He starts to pace back and forth.

    “This is useless! There's nothing in these books that I don't already know. This was a waste of time!”

    Simon stands up and slowly walks towards Baz.

    “Baz…”

    “No, Snow. I-I don't know what else to do. I-I need to know now. This is killing me. I can't keep going not knowing whether or not I can grow old with you or watch you die.”

    “Baz we are going to get the bottom of this. I promise you.”, Simon says while holding Baz face into his hands.

    “There has to be some other way. Someone to talk to.”, Agatha says.

    Baz froze. How is it possible that he didn't think of this sooner. He knows someone who's immortal. Lexi. He can talk to Lexi.

    “I know exactly who we can talk to.”

* * *

 

    Simon never thought that he would step into a Vampire bar but there he was, in a bar with Baz. Of course it didn't help the fact that everyone stared at him the moment he walked in. _I'm going to get killed aren't I?_ , Simon thinks. Baz reassures him by squeezing his hand and glaring at the others. They automatically look away but Simon can't help but think how Baz marking his territory makes him look even hotter. Simon is shaken out of his thoughts when Baz pulls him closer and walks towards a girl behind the bar.

    Lexi spots them immediately.

    “Well , look who it is and you brought your human boyfriend with you.”

    Baz smirks.

    “Hey, Lexi.”

    Lexi looks at Simon and smirks. 

    “Looks like you decided to stay with him after all.”

    Baz pulls Simon close. 

    “I'm never letting him go.”

    Lexi looks at them with a small smile, “If only I was that strong. What can I help you with?”

    “How did you know that you were immortal?” Baz immediately responds.

    “Okay. Straight to the point.” Lexi sighs and nods towards the back room.

    “Follow me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading:). Love it ? Hate it? Let me know!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, It's been a while. I know I said I was going to update sooner but school got hectic again. But it was worth it because I graduate in 6 days. Sadly this is the last chapter. I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read this story and you guys motivated me to keep writing this. Thank you so much. With that said, I hope you guys enjoy.

    Lexi leads them to her office at the back of the bar. One they are inside, she closes the door and locks it.

    “Alright, so what do you want to know?”

    “Everything.”

    Lexi looks at Baz thoughtfully and sits down on her chair.

    “Okay. How about this. Why do you think you’re immortal?”

    Baz looks at Simon next to him and grabs his hand. Simon looks back at Baz and gives him a small smile of encouragement.

    “I stopped aging. It’s been a few months. I didn’t put much thought to it at first. But us as vampires, we see things better than others and I realized that my aging process hasn’t been the same and I know that’s one of the main steps.”

    Lexi stares at Baz and checks him over and sees what he’s talking about.

    “I see and you’re right, it is the main step. But...”

    “Can I ask something?”, Simon interrupts. 

    Lexi and Baz look at him. Simon squeezes Baz’s hand to let him know that everything is okay. Lexi nods for Simon to continue.

    “What if he was turned as a kid?”

    Lexi needs back on her chair, surprised. She looks back at Baz and asks, “Is that true?”

    Baz nods and Simon continues, “What I want to know is, if it’s possible for someone who was changed as a kid, to age as a regular person and then stop aging as they got older?” 

    Lexi stays silent for a while as Baz and Simon wait for her response, anxiously. Baz looks at Simon in wonder. This incredible guy standing next to him, is his boyfriend, the one who is always by his side, the one who refuses to give up on him, the one that surprises him everyday and there he is holding his hand comforting him, because in the next few minutes they are going to find out what the future has in store for them and Simon’s not going anywhere. Baz mouths to him  _ I Love You  _ and Simon returns the favor. They turn back to look at Lexi, who saw the whole exchange. She lets out a small sad smile and Baz starts to panic.

    “I can see why you love him, he reminds me of her.”, Lexi says looking at Baz. Then she looks at Simon, “And to answer your question…”, Lexi starts smiling, “No. It is not possible.” 

    Simon lets out a breath of relief and looks at Baz. But Baz is still looking at Lexi, shocked.

    “What are you trying to say?”

    Lexi smiles at Baz and chuckles, “I’m saying that you have nothing to worry about. You’re not immortal Baz.”

    Baz crouches on the floor, covering his face with his hands “Oh thank God, thank you, thank you.” He looks up at Lexi, smiling and then looks at Simon and sees that he is smiling, with tears running down his face. Baz stands up and pulls him into a passionate kiss. Simon rests his forehead against Baz and says “I told you everything was going to be okay.”

    Baz smiles at at and gives him another kiss but then he realizes something.

    “Wait, but what about the whole aging thing?”

    “You’re right, your aging hasn't stopped, it slowed down but I wouldn’t worry about it. It happens every few years. It’s nothing major, it’s just you being vampire, that’s all.”

    Baz sighs happily. “Thank you so much, Lexi. This has been hell for me not knowing if I can be with Simon.”

    “I know the feeling.”, Lexi replies. Baz nods, knowing that she had to leave her girl for the same reasons.

“Well, I’m glad to help but I need to get back to work, I’ll walk you guys out.”

* * *

 

    Meanwhile, Penny is pacing back and forth, waiting, while Agatha is sitting on the couch tapping her foot. They both completely stop when Baz and Simon came in with big smiles on their faces. Penny stares at them with wide eyes and says, “Please tell me those smiles are because of good news.”

    Baz nods and says, “I’m not immortal.”

    Penny lets a scream of excitement and jumps to hug Baz. Baz not expecting this, laughs and hugs her back.

    “Oh my god, this is great news.”, Penny says as she goes to give Simon a big hug.

    “I’m glad things worked out.”, Agatha says as she awkwardly pats Baz’s back and Baz awkwardly pats her back as well. She then goes to Simon and gives him an awkward hug.

    “Thanks Agatha.”, Simon says.

    “So what’s next?”, Agatha asks and Penny looks at Simon.

    Simon notices and says, “I think it’s time for me to go and see a therapist.”

    Penny smiles at him and Baz looks at him and walks towards him, “Are you sure?”

    “Yeah, It’s time.”, Simon says with a small smile. Baz kisses his forehead, “I’m proud of you.”

    “I’ll make a call, tomorrow morning. For now, I think we should all go to bed, it’s been a long day.”

    Everybody agreed and they went to their separate bedrooms, but only two people decided to celebrate their happiness.

* * *

 

    It’s been a few months since Simon decided to go to therapy and honestly it’s been the best decision he has made. It was a rough start but with the support of Baz, Penny and Agatha, things have been getting better. Great, actually. In fact, his nightmares have gone away and he is finally able to sleep in peace. Today he had his last therapy session and he’s feeling good. Now he can’t wait to celebrate with his love and his friends, which by the way he is late to. 

    Simon enters his and Penny’s apartment and is surprised when Baz, Penny and Agatha jump up and start clapping.

    Simon blushes and looks down, Baz walks towards him, hugs him and kisses him. 

    “How are you feeling?”

    “I’m feeling great. I’m happy. I feel so much better.”, Simon says with a big smile. “There’s nothing holding me back now, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and that I can do anything.”

    Baz gives him a big smile, “I’m so proud of you. You have no idea. It’s been a long time Snow. I haven’t seen you like this in a really long time. I missed this. I missed the light in your eyes. I also see a new thing.”

    Simon looks at him confused, “What?”

    “Acceptance. Acceptance of yourself and that is the most wonderful thing right now.”

    Simon pulls him into a tight hug, “I love you so much.”

    “I love you too, Snow. Now let’s celebrate you.”

    Penny and Agatha head over and give Simon a hug and hands Simon a glass of champagne.

    “To Simon!”. They all cheer.

    “Thank you guys. For being there, especially for Baz and me.”

    “Always,” Penny says. “Just remember, no more hidden secrets.”

    “Agreed, no more hidden secrets.” Simon replies.

    “Alright, who’s hungry?”, Penny asks and in that moment, Simon’s stomach starts to growl. Everyone laughs and starts to head to the kitchen. But Baz notices that something falls out of Agatha’s pocket. He went to pick it up and sees that it’s a photo. There’s one person that stood out to him. She looks familiar. That smile. He has seen that smile before. Baz thoughts are interrupted when he hears Simon laughing. He looks up and sees the smile on his face, Baz freezes. He looks down at the picture again and looks up at Simon.

    “Oh my god.”, Baz whispers and drops the picture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it. Thank you guys again for everything. It's been a pleasure writing this story and I loved reading all of your comments. I left a little mystery towards the end of the chapter, if anyone wants me to write a sequel, please let me know in the comments below. Also let me know what you guys think. Love it?, hate it?,want more? I would love to know.Until next time.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *NOT A CHAPTER!*
> 
> JUST AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

**HEY GUYS!**

**I HOPE YOU'RE ALL DOING FINE.**

**SO I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.**

**BUT FIRST I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE WHO TOOK THEIR TIME TO READ THIS STORY.**

**AND FOR THOSE WHO COMMENTED ON IT, TELLING ME HOW MUCH YOU LIKED MY WRITING AND THE STORY, THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**WITH THAT SAID, I HAVE SOME EXCITED NEWS.**

**I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A NOVEL FOR A WHILE. I STARTED WRITING YEARS AGO BUT I FINALLY GOT BACK TO IT. I REALLY GOT MOTIVATED AFTER WRITING THIS STORY.**

**I RECENTLY SELF-PUBLISHED IT ON AMAZON FOR KINDLE.**

**IT'S CALLED FRIENDSHIP, LOVE AND DISASTER. I WORKED REALLY HARD ON IT AND IF YOU GUYS WANT TO CHECK IT OUT, I'LL POST THE LINK BELOW.**

**IF ANYONE MANAGES TO BUY IT, AND YOU WANT TO REACH OUT TO ME , HERE'S MY EMAIL : Luzvanni_castillo@hotmail.com**

**DON'T BE AFRAID TO CONTACT ME.**

**WITH THAT SAID, HERE IS THE LINK FOR MY BOOK, https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps &field-keywords=friendship%2C+love+and+disaster**

 

**Have a great day! I hope to hear from you guys :)**


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